The Winter Guard
by Evelyn JD
Summary: A lonely traveler comes to the small town of Fuuka, where he is drawn into a fight for a person he doesn't even know. Afterwards, he is asked to stay for the winter by a lovely Lady Fujino Shizuru, as her guard. He acepts. But there are many secrets hidden in the snow. Will Natsuki uncover her true self to the Lady who is slowly getting under her skin?
1. Chapter 1

**Hello, readers! **

**I know I said it will only take me a few days, but the writing and this fanfiction aren't the only things in my life, unfortunately. There's been many, many things going on… Well, I'm sorry I'm late with this one, but I hope you'll enjoy it.**

**First, you need to know a few things. This story is taking place in a realm called Namae – it's a realm created by me, so I don't think it should be prompted as Alternative Universe. Also, I don't know how long this will be, because the ideas are just coming into my head. I will try to update regularly, but I'm not promising anything.**

**Now, let me apologize for mistakes that you'll find in this story. I'm not a native English speaker and I really want to get better in English and writing. So, when you find a mistake, just tell me and I'll correct it. I do not have a beta, so if anyone is interested, just PM me :)**

**I want to ask one more thing of you, guys. Please, let me know if you liked or disliked the story and what exactly did you like/dislike. It's really important for me to know. I want to know if you like my writing style.**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Mai HiME/Mai Otome series!

**Now, with that said, enjoy!**

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A light breeze lifted the dust and sand from an empty road into the air, where it danced in the light of the low-hanging sun. Everything dressed into darker colors, the shadows darkened and trees changed the brown color of their trunks and tops to a soft gold, almost orange. The valley looked so calm, yet cold. In the wind there was a scent of upcoming winter. It was really a surprise that it hadn't snowed in here yet; the mountains around the valley were already covered in white cloaks.

The breeze carrying the trace of winter made me bow my head and warp my dust-covered tunic around my body tighter. The road ahead of me was empty. Ever since I left the packtrain in the town of Takara, I was traveling alone. I was used to that kind of life, loneliness was my best friend and those, who paid more could lean on me and my abilities, just for a short while. That was a life of a mercenary in this realm.

The tops of the swords that were securely hanging from the leather belt on my hips gently tapped against my legs when I moved and a stinging pain appeared in my left side with every step and breath I took. Although I was used to traveling long distances on feet, since I've never had enough money to buy a horse, today had been a real pain. The fabrics around my chest were clenched too tightly and my boots were almost worn out, just like everything I had on me. The good thing was that a town should be near.

In the state I was, nobody would ever suspect that the young, strong mercenary was actually a twenty-one-years old woman. Almost nobody cared, but those who did were always easy to fool. I told them the same story: I was and eunuch who was trained to fight, then I joined military in my hometown, but that was soon destroyed by the enemies and I managed to survive. At least one part of my story was truth, my home village really was destroyed by soldiers from neighboring country.

My explanation was perfect. The fabric around my chest was there to prevent my breasts from being too visible and the cloths I wore were always a little too big for me, as to hide everything. And being an eunuch gave me much privacy. I don't know why nobody wants to see a castrated man without a proper clothing, but it worked in my favor, so I actually didn't think about it. I knew nobody will ever try to touch me. Eunuchs were highly respected, probably because of their uneasy life.

But that was beyond me. For me, the most important thing was that I could easily explain my soft skin; petite, although strong body and girly, though a bit rough and husky voice. It was well known that eunuchs were softer and woman-like, because of lack of male hormones in their body. It didn't matter that my face didn't look like a face of a man. I've never used drugs that would help me get my strength and manly figure like many eunuchs did, therefore I couldn't look like a man.

I looked up from a dusty route and into a small valley before me. There was a small town, or rather a village, with five town-gates and wooden palisades. Around it were small houses and now empty fields. Another sign of upcoming winter. I spotted a big mansion behind the village, on a small hill covered by trees. I couldn't make out much of it, but I knew that whatever this small town was, it had its nobility.

I quickened my movements. The sunset will come way too soon and then it would be more difficult to get into the town.

The guards eyed me suspiciously when I came closer to them. One of them made a step forwards, his hand automatically reached for his sword, although he let it rest in its sheath, for now.

"Halt!" the guard said as I got just a little bit closer. I automatically stopped. I bowed before him, as a show of respect then I looked at the safe area of men's neck, knowing that a glance in his eyes would be a challenge and a glance to the ground would mean submission. Although I didn't want any troubles, I wasn't going to show weakness to this man. "Who are you, stranger, and what do you want in this town?"

"I want nothing more than to buy some supplies for my journey," I said quietly, my voice hoarse, because I haven't spoken in a few days. The guard nodded his head and stepped aside.

"Remember, stranger," he said as I got closer to him, "We won't tolerate any rudeness and violence in this town. Self-defense and protecting of others is allowed, but you'll bear the consequences none the less. Understood?"

"Yes." This time it was me nodding my head. With that, they let me into the village.

I slowly passed people in the narrow streets, not really noticing where I was going. I deliberately avoided the wide, main streets, the less people knew about the stranger, the better. I didn't pay attention to who I passed by. My gaze was shifting from one building to another, looking for the well-known signs. I really needed new, warmer clothes, the ones I had just weren't enough anymore, I would freeze in them. The supplies of food and some medicine were needed too, and I couldn't wait to finally sleep in comfortable futon, in some inn. And a hot bath would be really appreciated, too.

After a long while, where the sun managed to almost set and streets dressed into the cold shadows, I found what I was looking for. The sign above a sliding door of one of the buildings, now opened wide, was the one of a tailor. One set of a brand new clothing coming right up!

I slowly stepped into the wide room, my worn out boots tapping gently against the wooden floor. All around me there was a mess of clothing. I managed to make out different kinds of kimonos, tunic, underwear, shirts, pants, belts and cloaks. In the farther corner of the room there were boots, getas and zōris. I even saw different parts of clothing, probably waiting for repair or to be bought as a replacement.

Although the room was wide, there was hardly enough space for four people to move around freely. But it still seemed somewhat welcoming and nice as if I knew the place or the owner.

"Konbanwa, stranger."

I immediately turned to the source of the voice. My first instinct was to draw my swords and attack, but I suppressed it and bowed before the figure, to show them respect, although I didn't know who they were. When I straightened, and kept myself from wincing from the pain in my back and legs, I finally looked at the owner.

The woman was tall, taller than me. She had reddish-brown hair and olive-green, piercing eyes. She had a small smile on her lips, but I saw the distrust in her face. I didn't expect anything else from her.

"Good evening to you, too, ma'am," I said quietly, not looking the young woman in the eyes. My gaze settled on her forehead, since with women neck, lips and chest were forbidden areas to look at if you wanted to avoid looking in their eyes.

"How may I help you?" she asked. Her voice was a bit low and resolute. She seemed more like a leader of people than a tailor.

The corners of my lips lifted slightly, creating a small, polite smile. "By selling a traveler some warm cloths so he wouldn't freeze out there."

"Are you really planning on traveling this winter?" she asked with just a little hint of a surprise in her voice. "You know, the latter winter comes, the worse it gets."

"I know, but I can't afford staying here," I said quietly. Being a mercenary and guarding caravans while they moved from town to town wasn't the best way to earn money, but it was the only way I knew.

"So you've heard about what was happening in Fuuka recently?" she asked with a quirked eyebrow, although her face didn't hold that sparkle of surprise now. She looked me up and down, her gaze stopped at my hips, were two katana were resting peacefully in their sheathes. "A traveler, huh?"

I only nodded my head to her second question, but after she didn't stop eyeing my swords, I spoke: "The roads all over the Namae are dangerous. Especially here, where we are far away from the Imperial Palace."

"Of course," she, too, nodded her head. Her eyes looked deeply into mine and I held her gaze. I felt like she was studying me, but I knew she could never get under the veil of lies that hung all around me. "And roads aren't the only dangerous place in this realm."

"You were talking about the situation in Fuuka town, weren't you, ma'am?" I asked with only half-faked interest.

The woman half-smirked and crossed her hands at her breasts. "For the next time, I am Midori. Sugiura Midori. And you are? I don't want to call you 'a traveler' now that you know my name."

"Kuga," I said quietly. She eyed me with her right eyebrow raised. I knew she was waiting the whole name, but that's who I was for everyone. Just Kuga. My real name was never to be reviled to anyone.

"Well, Kuga-san," she started after a while, "This town really isn't the safest place now. Just one wrong move and you're not going to survive easily."

"How so?"

"This whole town is separated into two big camps who hate each other. Just knowing that you're a part of one will make the other want to slay you like a beast," she said calmly as if she had to explain this to travelers more than once. "One camp is supporting our Lady, Fujino Shizuru. The other supports that stupid bastard Kanzaki Reito."

"It's not hard to guess whose side are you on, Sugiura-sama. May I ask you why there are those two camps?"

"Because," Midori was silent for a second, then she leaned closer to me and started explaining in a quiet voice, "Kanzaki thinks he can have anything just because he has money and a bunch of stupid soldiers on his side. Someone says he has a support of Emperor himself, but I say that's bullshit. But the main reason why the people in town have splitted is that he is trying to force our Lady into a marriage. He does it every time he sees her. He claims that she belong to him, although she always turns him down. I'm afraid that one day he'll run out of his patience and commands those excuses of soldiers of his to kidnap her…"

Midori went silent, her gaze instantly shifted to the opened door. That's when I heard voices.

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**Well, there you go. Chapter 2 comming up!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Well, this is the second chapter. I felt bad about giving you just the first one, so… here you go. Remember, I want to know about every mistake you find! And I want to know what you think about this! Now, enjoy! **

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People in the street in front of the store were whispering. It sounded almost like a bee hive to me, or a swarm of mosquitoes. But according to Midori's actions I assumed the whispering and silent buzzing of the people were in place. The red-head slowly walked to the door, I could see the curious look in her face. I stayed on my spot, my hands instinctively found the handles of my swords, grasping them. Something was not right, I felt it somewhere in the back of my mind.

My instincts were right, something was definitely not okay. I knew it as soon as I heard a deep, strong, low man's voice call: "You are mine, Shizuru! Come with me, marry me! You know you want it!"

I took a few steps closer to the door, just to get a good look. People were standing near the buildings, to make a room for a young man with black hair and a serious look in his face; and his soldiers, all clothed in black uniforms. I didn't see who he was talking to.

"I told you already," a voice of a young woman replied. It was the most graceful, beautiful, calm, soft and sweet voice I've ever heard. However, it had pride in it, rigidity that showed off the stubbornness and waywardness of its owner. I knew whoever possessed this voice had to come from nobility, or a royal family. "I'm not going to marry you, Reito-san. And nothing you'll do can force me."

"You're really getting on my nerves!" shouted the young man with black hair. I noticed his nicely shaped cheek-bones; wide lips; deep, black eyes and tanned skin; he was tall and board-shouldered. He would be a pretty handsome man if he hadn't been acting like a spoiled little child. "I am taking you with me right now and I don't care what you think of it! Take her!"

The six men immediately moved towards the woman who I still couldn't see and no-one of the villagers standing there, watching, did something to help her. My body moved on its own accord. I quickly passed Midori and everyone near the shop, although for me it seemed that I moved slowly, lazily. It was always like that when a fight was about to start. With a quick, yet lazy yank of my right hand I drew out one of my swords and before first one of the men could reach their destination, which I was now showing my back to, he had the steel of my katana next to his neck.

"A man who lies his hand on a woman in other than gentle and loving way has no right to call himself a man," I said calmly, looking the soldier in front of me right into the eyes. There was fear in his eyes, he didn't dare to move and inch. And that was a right decision to make. If he moved, I'd kill him. Of course I didn't know the Lady, Fujino Shizuru, but that didn't stop me from helping her. Midori liked her and the red-head seemed like a right person to follow. And I would never allow any man to act like this towards a woman if I could help it.

"Who, the fuck, are you?!" asked the black-haired man, Reito. His soldiers now formed a semicircle around me, every one of them had a sword in their hand apart from the one that had my katana against his neck. I looked at every single one of them, trying to find their weak spots and thinking about the best strategy for the fight. I never was someone who would underestimate my opponents. But I wasn't someone who would underestimate or overestimate my own abilities, either.

"Someone who will not allow such a behavior towards a woman!" I growled, this time my eyes were fixed on the young man. He surely was from an important, fortunate family; he had it written on his face. He had been spoiled from the day he was born and he got everything he had ever wished for. I didn't know who the woman he was lusting for was, but I sympathized with her.

The young man frowned, his black eyes shone with amusement and annoyance. "Take him down!" Reito yelled at his soldiers. They all moved like one man, lifting their swords above their heads for a forceful impact. I quickly turned the wrist of my right hand so the sharp edge of the blade was directed down then I moved my hand downwards, cutting the man's leather armor as if it was just a piece of fabric. Shifting my weight to my left leg, I kicked, sending the man to the ground. It wasn't difficult for me to bend backwards after that, with my right leg still in the air, to dodge all of the slashes of the swords, which turned from straight downwards to horizontal, as I knew they would. All of the blades missed me by a good inch or two.

My left hand shot to the ground, to support my weigh. I turned around, still bent. My right leg found its way to the ground as well, which gave me much needed balance and confidence. Without a second thought, I drew out my second sword and spreaded my hands, turning around so my swords drew a circle. Cries of pain and a sound of five swords landing on the ground let me know that I managed to do just what I wanted.

I looked up. All five men were kneeling now, holding their right hands to their chest, a red liquid covered all of their fingers and the skin on their palms and wrists. A shallow cut like that wasn't the worst thing in the world, but it was painful. However, I knew I didn't have much time. I got up to take away their swords, but a low growl stopped me. I turned around just in time to block a sword of a very angry soldier with my own two katana.

"Couldn't you just stay on the ground? You'd make it much easier for me to not to hurt you," I growled at him, jumping back. A sharp pain in my left side told me that it wasn't the wisest move. I wasn't a shallow cut, I could feel that. I only hoped it will heal easily. Otherwise, it would be a hell for me.

I turned, my sword went right for the soldier's legs. He dogged. Growling, I took a quick step towards him. The left hand lifted the sword as to slash him from above, but when he lifted his sword to dodge mine, my right katana went for his legs, cutting in deep. The left hand went for his hand, hitting it, making a deep, long cut on his forearm. As soon as that was done, my body shifted and I attacked another soldier.

It was all like a dance to me. Shifting my weight from one leg to another, making fast movements that seemed almost passionate, it was weirdly calming and exciting at the same time. With every hit I managed, with every drop of blood I drawn from my opponents, with every scratch that was made on my body, I got more forceful, more passionate. I made all of them kneel before me.

When I realized that all of my opponents were on their knees, gasping and grunting from the pain I caused them, I straightened myself and looked right into Reito's black eyes. They burnt with anger now. I almost saw his hand shaking from the want to just grab his sword and fight me himself. However, he didn't.

"You won this time, stranger. And Shizuru!" he called, now looking somewhere behind me, "I will have you! You heard that?! You will be mine!" With that, he turned around and walked down the street, not waiting for his soldiers, who grunting and growling stood up, took their swords and headed after their master.

I sighed. Although I wouldn't let him lay a finger on the woman he wanted, I was glad that Reito didn't pull out his sword this time. I was tired and the scratches and cuts all over my body burnt with pain. But I didn't allow myself to emit a sound. I just put my swords into their sheathes and turned around, to see who I just stood up for.

I didn't have a chance to look in her face. As soon as I spotted the lavender-colored, silky kimono, I knelt down and bowed my head. That was a right way to greet a member of an important, noble family and I knew it was a right way to greet her. Only a member of a fortunate family would have kimono that beautiful and that soft as she did.

I saw two feet in a white fabric and wooden getas, stepping right in front of me, then a soft, warm hand was placed on my right shoulder. I didn't even want to image how it looked, a young man in his dirty, bloody, ripped cloths with a member of a noble family with their hand on the man's shoulder. But it didn't seem to bother the woman, as she squeezed my shoulder gently.

"Look at me, stranger," she said slowly, her voice now seemed even more beautiful and warm. It reminded me of a warm honey and summer breeze.

I didn't dare to look up. As much as I wanted to know how the woman looked like, I was afraid that she wouldn't like what she'd see. I wasn't the most handsome man, or the most well-built. Maybe it was the fact that I actually wasn't a real man.

I held my breath when I felt those soft, warm fingers caress their way from my shoulder, to the side of my neck, to my cheek, until they finally stopped at my chin, gently tugging my head upwards. I still felt the heat of her touch on my skin when I looked at her face.

It felt as if someone just slapped me across my face. The words left my mind and every rational thought suddenly decided to play 'hide and seek' with me. The only thing I could think about was how beautiful the woman was. She had a calm, kind expression on her face, now with a hint of surprise and amusement. Her hair like sand was hanging around her face in straight strands, making the smile on her soft, slightly pink lips more visible. But the most beautiful thing, the thing that I found myself not being able to tear my gaze of, were her eyes. Red, like wine in a golden goblet, deeper than any well I've ever seen, holding more emotions than I've experienced in my whole life. Although they were unreadable, they were still beautiful. And maybe the fact that I couldn't read them was the thing that made them so interesting.

She returned my gaze. And under her probing, strong, warm, calm, gentle look I felt like naked. It was as if I was there totally nude before her, with all my life written on my body for her to read. It was as if she took the veil of lies off of my body, leaving me vulnerable. And for some reason, I liked that feeling.


	3. Chapter 3

**This is seriously the last one for today! And it's only because I wanted to know if I made their characters believable. And also because I want to know what you think about my description of Shizuru. But don't get used to this, I don't know when I'll manage to post another chapter… so if it takes me more than a week, please, don't be mad. O:) **

**Don't forget to tell me about every mistake and every thought you have about this story! Now, enjoy! **

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"What is your name, stranger?" she asked quietly, her voice was gentle and soft, as were her fingers on my chin and still-burning trails of her touch on my cheek. My voice decided to go on a vacation and my attention was completely concentrated on her eyes. I almost felt those two beautiful pyropes bore into my very soul, taking my breath away.

I snapped out of the trance, turning my gaze on her forehead rather. It felt as if chains fell off of my chest and, after what seemed like eternity, I could finally take a deep breath. Why did I stop breathing while looking into her eyes in the first place? That I didn't know. Probably because compared to the beauty of her eyes, breathing seemed unimportant.

"K-Kuga-…" I stuttered. I saw her smile, gentle and sweet, as if Spring itself had materialized into the form of this woman.

"Kuga," she repeated, as if tasting the name on her tongue. Her smile grew wider, her eyes sparkled and her face lit up just like a face of a small child when parents give him a new toy. Maybe she liked the taste of my name in her mouth. For some reason I wanted that to be true. I wanted her to like my name, to remember it, although I might not see her again. I wanted her to remember me. "Stand up, please. You got hurt, I want to take care about it."

"N-No!" I said quickly, jerking instinctively to get from her grasp. But her hand still held my chin firmly in place. For someone who looked so fragile she sure was strong. "T-That won't be necessary! I c-can take care of myself, my Lady." I corrected myself immediately, my gaze shifted downwards. She was still holding my chin, so I couldn't turn my head, which only led to me looking directly at her neck. Not really the safest place to look at while talking to a woman, especially a woman like this.

However, the woman seemed not to mind it, as she just looked at me with that calm, almost cheerful smile on her lips. I felt the weight of her gaze shifting on the skin of my face, as if she was examining me, studying me. She leaned in a bit, so the distance, which I accidently put between us shortened.

"I am sure you can," she smiled warmly, her gentle voice made me look up into her eyes again. "But I won't allow you to do that, not when I am the cause of those wounds. So, please, Kuga, come with me. I will make sure nobody will touch you, or get close to you, if that is your wish, but I can't let you just go after what you did. I want to thank you properly."

I couldn't think straight. Her eyes were the only thing I could concentrate on. Behind the wine color burnt a flame, beautiful, making me forget about everything. I didn't know what she said to me, what she asked of me, but nodding seemed like a good idea.

I didn't know how she managed, but somehow, I found myself sitting in a wicker stretcher carried by four strong men. Every one of them had a leather strap on their board shoulders, to avoid the damage that could be caused by the supporting rods. I felt kind of strange, just sitting there, against the beautiful Fujino Shizuru, when I should be out there, walking behind the stretcher. Someone like me wasn't worthy to be carried like the nobility. But I was way too tired to think about something like that. My side hurt even more now, that a big scratch was there; the fabrics on my chest were soaked with blood on one spot and I was just waiting for the moment my tunic will stain with new, fresh red liquid leaking from my body.

We both were quiet. I watched the road carefully, thinking about the encounter in the town. Why would someone like Fujino-sama be out without someone to guard her, then she knew that a guy like Kanzaki Reito was in the town? Did she have any guards at all? Was she too peaceful to have guards?

"Why are you frowning, Kuga?"

I looked at her, my gaze instantly went to her eyes. It was a big mistake that I had yet to learn how to avoid. I found myself in that weird state of mind when I couldn't think, just because her eyes and their beautiful color of a ripe wine were far more important than something as trivial as thinking.

"I-I was just th-thinking," I stuttered, quickly tearing my eyes away from her face.

"Ara?" she asked with a smile in that beautiful, soft voice of hers. "And what about?"

"A-About… about how k-kind you are to me," I blurred out the first thing that came to my mind. I felt my cheeks grow warm as soon as I realized what I had said. Soon, the stretcher was filled with the sound of her laughter, which was the most beautiful sound I've ever heard. Free, light, warm, gentle, yet wild and perfect.

"Ara, is that so?" she laughed again, this time more timidly and lady-like. "And why do you think so?"

"Well… you could have just left me there. I think many would do that if they were you," I said, glad that I found the control over my voice again.

"And you could have just left me to take care of Kanzaki-san myself. I think many would do that if they were you," she repeated my words with a small smile, the concentrated look which she was examining my face with was almost tickling my skin. "Yet, you did not. I wonder why? Was it your honor and good-heart that made you protect me? Or was it a love at first sight towards me that burned its mark into you and made you blindly put your life at risk because of me?"

I felt my cheeks grow even hotter. I knew I was blushing furiously, although I didn't know why. I've never blushed before, ever. I tried to hide my face, so she wouldn't see the red color of my cheeks, but according to the amused smile on her face I knew I failed.

"I-I am sorry, my lady, but you are wrong!"

"Ara? How wrong am I?"

"I am not an honorable or good-hearted m-man," I said quickly, my voice shook. It never shook before. "I am a mercenary. I do whatever they tell me to, as long as I get money. I am a guard, a fighter, a killer. There is no honor in my heart."

"Ara?" she asked with a mysterious smile, her right eyebrow quirked. "Well, was it the love at the first sight, then?"

"No!" I growled, blushing even more. "I-I can't fall in l-love."

"Ara? Why is that?"

"I'm an e-eunuch. A man wi-without the a-ability to pl-…please a woman. I can't fall in love." A lame excuse, but it was better that the real reason. Just imagining how it would sound to say that I haven't seen her face before she herself lifted my chin was making me want to cave myself into the ground and never come out again.

She was quiet for a while, as if she was thinking really hard about what I just said.

"I allow myself to disagree with both of your arguments," she said after a while. She looked serious, her eyes were slightly narrowed and her head held high. She looked like a member of a royal family. "If you didn't have even the slightest bit of honor in your soul, you wouldn't stand up for me. That means you do have honor in you and I'd say there is a pretty much of an honor and pride in that body of yours. And, to your second argument, every human being is capable of loving. Eunuchs are no exception, neither are you. As long as you are a human, you can fall in love. Besides…" a smirk crossed her face and a dangerous glow sparkled in her eyes, "…there are other ways how to please a woman. You don't need to have _that thing_ between your legs to please your lover. If it was necessary, there wouldn't be such a things as girls couples."

"Wha-…" I stared at her with my eyes wide and cheeks probably redder than a forest-fire. I looked outside, pretending that I was interested in the road and the forest around us, just to avoid her gaze and the smirk on her face. I heard her chuckle, a sweet, innocent sound, however it made me blush even harder, if that was possible.

She seemingly decided to leave me be, as she, too, looked at the road. We stayed quiet for the rest of the way, which I was thankful for. I didn't need her teasing and my burning cheeks. The burning pain in my left side slowly grew; it was even more intense than the pain of other cuts on my body. I clenched my hands around my swords and shut my eyes tightly. I didn't fight that often, many opponents were easily convinced by one of my frightening looks, therefore I wasn't used to the burning pain from cuts and wounds caused by sword. Although it hurt, I wasn't going to show it.

"We're here," Fujino-sama said suddenly, bringing me back to the real world. I lifted my head to look where exactly we were.

It was the mansion I saw on the way to the town. It was big, bigger than I thought. The bigger part of it was hidden by trees. Is looked like a mansion of a really fortunate family, with white walls, wooden stairs and two bronze statutes of a being called Hydra, with its six heads held high. Both statutes looked as if they were gazing at everyone who dared to step on the ground of the Fujino family. It reminded me of my own home, in the village of Nita, where the mansion of the noble family was guarded by two silver wolves.

The stretcher stopped and shook as the four men put it down from their shoulders. I stood up, wincing slightly from the pain, but I got out. I turned around and sopped. When Fujino-sama stepped out I bowed. I knew manners, a lady like her was always the last one to get out of the stretcher and the first one to get in. It was for her own safety.

She chuckled quietly. She came to me and put her warm, soft hand on my shoulder, again. "Don't do that, Kuga. You are hurt."

I bit my lip, but I didn't move. I heard a sigh and I could only guess that she shook her head before heading into the building. I straightened and followed her, wondering what have I gotten myself into.

I followed her into the kitchen, where she took a bowl of hot water and a bunch of a white fabric from, then she lead the way through the mansion.

"You'll stay here for tonight," Fujino-sama said as she showed me one of the rooms in her mansion. It was an average-sized room, with a big futon on the wooden floor, a small chest next to a white wall and a big window directed into the big, square garden. The mansion was build like a small palace. The building was in the shape of a square with a hole right in the middle. In that hole there was garden full of cherry-trees, sakuras, small bonsais, green grass, rocks, paths of pebbles, a small stream and few benches. It was beautiful, just like the whole mansion.

"Thank you, my lady," I bowed before her.

She smiled and nodded her head. She put a bowl of warm water and few pieces of a white fabric on the wooden chest. "I still don't like the idea of you taking care of those wounds yourself…" she said quietly, "…but I can do nothing than give you this. I'm not going to force you into anything. Now, I'll leave you. But, please, promise me you'll meet me tomorrow in the garden. I want to speak with you."

"Yes, my lady," I said almost immediately, bowing before her yet again.

"Thank you. Take care of yourself, and make sure you'll have a good rest," she smiled at me, turning to leave. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

And with that, she was gone. I slowly came to the chest, now allowing myself to show the pain. I made sure that door was shut before taking off my torn tunic and warping the dirty and bloody fabric off of my body. It was a nice feeling to be able to breathe without something chaining my chest. I cleaned myself, for the first time that week, with some of the white fabric and after a while I warped what was left of it around my chest. I was used to the clenching around my chest, however I never liked it. But I had to keep it on me, in here nobody could find out about my true identity.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey, guys! **

**Thanks for your reviews; you really know how to make a girl smile! You wanted another chapter, so here you go! Hope you'll like it! And don't forget to tell me every little thing that comes to your mind while reading this, every idea you might have! It really helps me to know what people think about my writing!**

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The next day came sooner than I wanted it to. I woke with the first ray of the sunlight, just like I did since I became a traveler. There were times when I would sleep in, but that was long ago. I was supposed to meet Fujino-sama in the garden, but I didn't know when, or how to get there. I slowly got out of the futon and threw my torn, bloody, dirty tunic over my body. Compared to the softness and warmth of the sheets, it was rough and cold. I really needed new clothes.

I slowly walked to the window, looking out, into the garden. It really was beautiful, although it looked sad. The branches of trees without leafs slowly danced in a light winter breeze, the grass looked cold with a thin layer of frost over every blade. I saw some birds in the cherry-trees and a cat with orange fur with black straps, that reminded me of a tiger. I smiled at that, wondering what it looked like when the spring came.

A sound of knocking threw me back into reality. I didn't know what to do, apart from turning around, but it seemed that whoever was outside didn't mind my lack of response. The door opened after a while and a girl with shoulder-length orange-hair came into the room with a tray in her hands. She was tall, but not taller than me and definitely not taller than Fujino-sama. She had a white tunic with few violet straps, which, although it was loose, didn't manage to hide her quite outstanding breasts. The girl had a smile on her face and she looked me up and down with unhidden interest in her light-violet eyes.

"Good morning, traveler," smiled the girl. "I have your breakfast here-whoa!"

Some black thing came running into the room. It looked like a cat, but it was way too big to be an ordinary cat.

"Mikoto! How many times did I tell you not to run around like that!" the girl lectured with a strict look on her face and the black something stopped. I realized it was a small girl, with a short black hair, clad in a black tunic.

"Hummm, but Maaaiiiii! It is no fun that way!" the girl whined. She was settled on all fours, next to the futon on the ground, looking at the carrot-headed girl with stubborn, almost cat-like look on her face.

"You are not here to have fun. You aren't even supposed to be here!" the orange-haired girl said, frowning slightly. Then she turned her attention back at me, as did the girl on the ground. "Anyway," the carrot-head smiled warmly, "Here's your breakfast. Hope you'll enjoy it, I made it myself."

I slowly came a bit closer. The girl on the ground crawled in front of the carrot-top and sat there like a cat, eyeing me with something I could only describe as bored interest.

"I-… thank you…" I said quietly, my husky voice scratched me in my throat. I could use some warm honey and milk.

"You're welcome, traveler. By the way, I am Mai…," the young woman smiled, then she pointed at the girl at her legs, "…and this is Mikoto. If you ever needed anything, feel free to ask me, I'll be happy to help."

"Well… actually, there is one thing I would like to ask you," I said quietly, looking down, at Mai's knees.

"What is it?"

"Eh… F-Fujino-sama asked me to meet her in the garden, but she didn't tell me when…"

"Oh! Well, I assume she will be there after her breakfast, which is probably now. She is a morning person, wakes up before the sun," Mai smiled. "If that's everything you need, I'll be on my way."

When she and the little cat-like girl left, I took the tray with food and sat down under the window. I didn't really pay attention to what I was eating, I only knew it was delicious.

I couldn't stop thinking about the red-eyed goddess. How did she manage to get me in here, just by looking into my eyes? I was the most strong-willed and stubborn person I knew, so how could she make me do what she wanted just by one glance? Was it because she came from a noble family?

All of the questions made a real mess in my head. I couldn't think straight. That's probably why I almost bumped into someone right after I left the room that was given to me for the night. I quickly bowed, muttering an apology. Laughter in a deep, low voice made me look up. It was a woman, high, with a good figure, quite beautiful face, short black hair that seemed messy and eyes in the color of mead. She was dressed in a gray and white tunic with violet hems on the sleeves and collar.

"Don't worry about it," the woman smiled, scratching the back of her head awkwardly. "It's probably my fault, anyway. I do have a slight problem with my eyesight… so, sorry, I guess. By the way, I'm Chie! You must be the traveler Mai and Fujino-sama were telling us about in the kitchen! Is it true that you want to leave for winter? It doesn't happen often that someone new comes in here…"

I just stood there, in front of her, like a total idiot, unable to say anything. My mind was still at the words 'Fujino-sama' and the meaning of all of the other words just kept running from me. After I finally caught on, I nodded my head. It wasn't hard for me to keep my cool mask up around people, so I was sure she didn't notice the momentary absence of my rational thinking. Only Fujino-sama had that weird effect on me, that my mask just came off and I was at her mercy.

"Yes, I do want to leave. I don't want to bother Fujino-sama or anyone else in here," I replied, nodding my head slightly. I didn't dare to look in her eyes, instead I chose the safe area of her forehead. "I'm sorry, but I should be going."

"Going? Does Fujino-sama want to meet you? I can show you the way, if you want," Chie smiled. She then, without waiting for my answer, started heading down the hall, nodding for me to follow her. "You won't be a bother, trust me. Actually, everyone who is in this manor happened to appear here one day, out of no-where, without the past and without the future, just like you. Fujino-sama took us all in, without a word. She gave us all work, money, a place to stay, and, eventually, friends."

I only nodded my head as I followed the woman through the corridors of the mansion. I was glad she offered me help, I would be lost in here if it wasn't for her.

After a short while, we got out of the corridor, into the garden. From the window that was in my room, the garden seemed quite small, but now… I've never seen a garden as huge as this. I heard a quiet chuckle from my right, where Chie stood.

"Impressed?" she asked with a grin on her face. "I was too, when I first saw this. Fujino-sama called me here to offer me the job of her maid. I remember how scared I was back then."

"How long are you here?" I asked, eyeing the woman. She couldn't be older than me.

"Five years. I was only fifteen when I met Fujino-sama. She was eighteen then and she had this whole mansion all to herself. I and my friend, Aoi, were the first ones to get here, into her services. And I'm glad we did."

"Is she… a good person?"

Chie half-smirked and lowered her head. "Go there and see for yourself. But I can tell you, everything depends on how you act towards her." With that, the girl left and I had to step into the garden, because I no longer had an excuse to not to do so. The grass was stiff from the slight morning frost, stinging me gently into my feet through the worn-out leather of my boots. The cold air warped itself around my body like a second skin and my torn tunic and boots didn't help me to get warmer.

After a while of walking around under the trees, I spotted her, sitting on one of the benches, under a big cherry-tree. She looked straight in front of herself, as if she was deep in thoughts. She held a steaming cup in her hands, which were now settled in her lap. She had a sky-blue kimono on her, her sandy hair was pinned up into a loose bun on the back of her head. She looked absolutely calm, absolutely normal and absolutely breath-taking.

I didn't realize I've been standing there, watching her, with my breath caught in my throat until I felt the burning sensation in my lungs from the lack of oxygen. I finally took a deep breath and forced my freezing legs to move forwards, to her.

When I was just a few feet away, she lifted her head and looked right into my eyes. I stopped, quickly getting on my knees and bowing, ignoring the pain that shot through my body mainly from the wound on my left side; although my eyes didn't want to leave her crimson stare just yet. I saw a gentle smile that broke on her lips.

"You may stand up, Kuga," she said quietly, tapping the spot on the bench next to her. "And sit here."

I didn't know what to do. One part of me wanted me to stay where I was, on my knees, in a formal distance from the goddess in front of me. The other part wanted me to sit next to her and take her in my arms, to protect her from anything and everything bad that might happen.

I stood up and sat next to her, as I was told. I had to suppress a hiss of pain as my wounds stretched again.

"Are you alright? Your wounds still hurt?" she asked with a concern in her voice. I didn't know why should someone like her care about someone like me, but I didn't point it out. As Chie said, everything depends on how I act towards her and being rude or cold to her wasn't an option.

"I am quite fine, Fujino-sama," I nodded my head slightly, looking on the grass in front of me. She shifted, I felt her warm gaze on my skin, as if sun itself was shining brightly at me. She was checking me, but I didn't know what exactly she was searching for.

"Did you sleep well?" she asked before bringing the cup to her lips and taking a sip from the liquid. A scent of green tea hit my nose.

"Yes. But I doubt that my sleep is the reason for the two of us to be out here," I muttered.

A chuckle came as an answer to me and I couldn't help looking at her. She had her eyes closed and her lips were curved into a smile, a sincere and happy smile. Her head hung just a little bit lower, her neck seemed longer that I remembered. The skin there was pale and looked soft and smooth. A sudden urge to lift my hand and cares the skin caught me off-guard. I quickly turned my head away from her.

"Ara, Kuga-san is really forward, isn't he? Well, I should probably get on the matters at hand. I'm sure Kuga-san isn't exactly warm in those clothes he is wearing," Fujino-sama said quietly and brought the cup to her lips again. Never in my life have I wanted to be a tea-cup more than now. "Well, I called you out here because I wanted to ask you something. The winter is coming and I have a feeling this will be a long and cruel one. I don't like the idea of you traveling alone through it, somewhere gods-know-where. That's why I wanted to ask you to stay here for the winter."

I looked at her with wide eyes. She had her gaze fixed on the tea in her cup, her face looked calm. "I-I-…" I tried to speak, but I couldn't find words. I licked my lips nervously, not caring about the kiss that I received from the cold air as soon as my tongue slipped back into my mouth. "I-I am sorry, my lady, b-but… I-I don't want to bother you more than I already had. I actually thought of leaving today, after this talk-…"

"If you don't want to stay as my guest…," she cut me off, lifting her head to look at me with determination and stubbornness. "…than stay as my guard. You proved to be worthy of that post and capable of protecting me. I would use someone who could protect me, after what Kanzaki Reito tried to do. And until I find someone else, you are the only one I can think of, who is able to fight. You won't be a bother. You'll work here. You'll have your own room, new clothes, warm food whenever you like and you'll get money for your services. What do you say?"

I couldn't keep myself from looking into her eyes. I couldn't breathe or move, my thinking had shut down. I was suddenly there only to grand any wish of this goddess with crimson eyes. It was the only goal in my life.

Before I knew it, I found myself nodding to her offer. "Only for this winter."


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey again! **

**Here's another chapter! This one is a bit longer, which I am proud of, for some reason. Well, let me know what you think! Enjoy!**

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I looked all around as I walked down the streets of the Fuuka with Chie right in front of me. Fujino-sama had sent us here to get everything I needed. I didn't know what exactly that was, but the black-haired woman who was sent with me seemed to know exactly what it was that I needed.

First, we went to a small shop to get everything Mai needed in the kitchen, then Chie led me through the town and showed me every important place. I was trying to remember everything she said, but the cold and pain in my body made it hard for me to listen to her.

After what seemed like hours of walk, we got on a street that looked very familiar. As we walked further into it, I noticed opened door and the sign of tailor I've already seen.

"This is Sugiura Midori's shop," Chie said, stopping right in front of the door. "Sugiuras had been personal tailors for Fujino family for about two centuries. Midori is cool, you'll like her."

I nodded my head and followed the black-haired woman into the shop.

"Well, hello there, Chie!"

I turned to see Midori sitting behind a small counter in the corner of the room. She stood up and came closer, but when she spotted me, she stopped with a look of amused disinterest, as if she was expecting me to be there all along.

"Kuga-san," she nodded her head and I bowed. Then she turned to Chie. "So it happened. I thought she would like to keep him…"

Keep me. It sounded as if I was some kind of kicked-out puppy and Fujino-sama was a good woman who took me in. I frowned when I realized it wasn't far from truth. And the fact that I was her personal guard didn't help, either. I really needed just pointing ears and a wagging tail.

"Well, of course she wanted to keep him. I heard he took on six of Kanzaki's soldiers and got out of in with only a few scratches," Chie smirked. I wanted to remind them that I was actually there, but I quickly threw that though out of the window. It wouldn't be polite, after all, and I needed to show my best self, if I was to stay here for whole three months.

"He did, I saw it. But his clothing bears the marks," Midori remarked while looking me up and down critically, as if she was lecturing me for damaging the clothing. "I assume you aren't here to just chat, are you, Chie?"

"Well, no," the raven-haired girl smirked that half-smirk of hers. "He needs a new uniform. The one for guards. And, Fujino-sama said it would be perfect if there was blue instead of grey."

"He is a guard? Well, to find him a good uniform will be…. difficult, to say at least," the red-haired woman frowned at me, then she turned around and went to the back of the shop. She searched between all of the clothing that was there. "All of the guards of Fujino family were high, board-shouldered, strong men, so all of the uniforms I have here are made for that kind of figure. Kuga-san is really petty, I'm not sure if I'll be able to find him something."

"Can't you make something for him?" Chie asked. I frowned, shooting my death-glare at the back of Midori's head for calling me petty. I know I'm not the strongest and hugest human being in this world, but I'm not petty. Well, for a guard maybe…

"I can and I probably will, but I cannot let him to walk around in torn and bloody tunic now, can I? And sewing will take some time, Chie. I have to give him something to wear… Hmm, this could do…" the red head muttered the last sentence, drawing a uniform out of the pile of clothing. Pants were in deep-blue color, the upper tunic was white with violet straps on the hems of sleeves and three horizontal violet straps on both sides. It seemed comfortable and thick enough to keep a man warm even in the cruel winter.

Midori came towards me and gave me the uniform. "Try this one on. It's the smallest I have here."

"Is there any room I can use to change?" I asked, politely avoiding her eyes. She looked at me with quirked eyebrow.

"Ehm, he… he's en eunuch," Chie muttered quietly.

"Oh," Midori nodded her head and pointed to the back corner of the room. "I thought so, actually. There is a room in there, you may use it."

"Thank you," I said quietly, quickly rushing towards the room. Once inside, I took of the thin fabric of my old tunic off of my body and threw the new uniform on. It was cotton, I could tell that much, and it was more comfortable than anything I had on since I became a mercenary. I was careful, so I wouldn't get the fabric dirty with my blood, although all I wanted was to just snuggle into the tunic.

I came out of the small room. Both women looked at me, Chie with her half-smirk and Midori with a skeptical, amused and slightly frustrated look on her face.

"It's too big," the red-head remarked. She quickly came to me and looked me all around. "But it does fit him. I'll make him few more like this one." She then took something that looked like a twine and started to enclose it to my body, humming every now and then. When the twine touched the wound on my left side, although through the fabric, I couldn't manage so suppress a hiss of pain. Without a second thought, she lifted the tunic just above the cut and took the fabric that prevented bleeding off of my skin. I tensed and looked at her with shock. She didn't pay attention to my reactions; she seemed way too interested in the wound.

"You should get a doctor to look at this. It's red and swollen all over the wound," Midori said with something I could only describe as slight worry in her voice. "It might ignite soon and you don't want that, trust me."

"It seems that doctor Sagisawa is rubbing off on you," Chie smirked.

"Yeah, well try to live with her for five years, she'd rub off on you too," Midori remarked, still eyeing my wound. "I just wonder when will Aoi rub off on you. She is such a sweet girl, not like you." Midori then let the tunic fall back down to cover my body. "Leave what is left from your old clothing here and keep this one. I think you can wait a few days 'till I make you new uniforms."

"I don't want to be a bother. This uniform fits quite well, in my opinion," I muttered quietly, bowing as low, as the wound on my side allowed me to. The clothing hung loosely on me, but it wasn't way too big. It was just perfect to cover my womanly curves.

"Nah, you're not a bother, don't worry about that," Midori half-smiled and went behind the wooden counter. "The new uniforms should be done in a week."

"You're an angel, Midori," Chie said, leaning on the board of the counter with a half-smirk that now seemed somewhat flirtatious.

"Don't push your luck, blue rose, I'm already taken and quite happy in my relationship. And I think you are too."

"Yeah, right. Sorry," the raven-haired girl smirked and placed a leather pocked on the counter. Its content jangled when it met the wood.

"Don't you think it's a little too much?" Midori asked, eyeing the pocked.

"It's a thank you for your trouble. You know how Fujino-sama is about this kind of things, so…" Chie shrugged and turned towards me. "We should head back."

I nodded my head. I went to the small changing room, to take my swords and my own leather pocket with the little money I had. When I returned, Midori was holding a pair of brand new leather boots. When I gave her a questioning look, she just smirked and said: "You can't run around barefooted in the winter, can you?"

I managed a cracked smile as I took the boots and put them on. I wasn't used to smiling, it was a weird feeling to lift the corners of my lips upwards. I was used to the expression that said 'I don't care about anyone' or a one that read 'Get the hell out of my way before I hurt you'.

"Thank you very much, Sugiura-sama," I said with a respectful bow in her direction.

"You are very much welcome, Kuga. And, for the next time, I'm Midori," the woman half smirked, mimicking Chie. "I'll ask Youko to go and check on your wound when she has time. We can't have the guard of Fujino Shizuru hurt now, can we?"

"We definitely can't," the raven-haired girl smirked and turned to leave. "Bye for now, Midori."

"Yeah, bye! And say hello to Fujino-sama for me!"

I thoroughly enjoyed the feeling of warm, cotton tunic on my body. It was a real change, compared to the tunic I wore before. And the leather boots were far more comfortable than any boots I wore since my village was destroyed. I thanked Fujino-sama in my mind for offering me this.

True to her words, Midori really sent a doctor to check on me. The woman was tall, with short dark-brown hair that seemed almost violet, clad in white tunic and white cloak over it, with a leather strap of a small bag on her right shoulder. Fujino-sama introduced her as Sagisawa Youko. I gulped when I first saw that woman. Her violet-blue eyes seemed piercing, as if she could see through everything. I just hoped that my cloak of lies was thick enough to protect me.

The doctor didn't pay any mind to Fujino-sama. She looked me up and down, with a frown on her face.

"I know it's probably rude of me to ask, but… are you en eunuch?" she asked with a hint of interest in her voice. I only nodded and lowered my head. I wanted this to be over soon. For past three years I've been healing my wounds myself and I didn't have to worry about someone finding out. But this doctor now seemed like a threat and I didn't like that one bit.

"Please, lift up your tunic," she said in that voice that every doctor used. Without a word, I lifted the tunic up, right under the fabric that chained my chest. She stepped closer to me and out of the corner of my eye, I saw Fujino-sama shift. Youko took the makeshift bandage I had around my belly off and brought her face closer than I was comfortable with. "When and how did you get it?"

Before I managed to open my mouth, Fujino-sama answered: "Yesterday, in a fight."

The doctor looked at her, then back at the wound. "Hmm, it could have been worse," she remarked, standing up. She opened the leather bag she had thrown on her shoulder and searched something. She pulled out a small bowl and a few bandages. "Fujino-sama, may I ask you to make sure he puts this ointment on the wound every morning, lunch and evening? It will prevent the inflammation and help the healing process."

"Of course," the crimson-eyed woman nodded her head and took the bowl and bandages from the doctor. "I can handle it now, doctor Sagisawa. You should head home, it's pretty late."

Fujino-sama put the bowl and bandages on my futon, then she went to the sliding door and opened it slightly. She went out of the room for a few seconds. She came back with Chie behind her. "Aoi went to prepare the stretcher for you, Chie will escort you to it."

"Thank you, Fujino-sama," the doctor said, bowing before the woman.

"No. I thank you. Without you and Sugiura-sama, Kuga could have ended up very badly," the sandy-haired woman said quietly. She bowed slightly before the doctor and my eyes widened at that. I've never seen a member of nobility to bow down before someone without the royal blood.

"It is my job," the doctor said, clearly uneasy by the way Fujino-sama was acting. "I should be going now. If you'll excuse me…"

"Of course, you may go," Fujino-sama smiled and nodded her head, a warm smile made the corners of her lips turn upwards. Chie escorted the woman out of the room and closed the door behind them, leaving me alone with the crimson-eyed goddess.

I didn't know what to do with myself, just standing there with a bare stomach for her to see didn't seem like a good idea. I moved, to cover my belly with the tunic I still held in my hand, but she stopped me.

"Don't," she said quietly, moving towards me. She gently took my wrist in her soft hand. I felt some tingling sensation all over my body from that one touch, my muscles tensed and relaxed. I noticed how soft her skin was, as if she had silk warped around her hand. Warmth came off of the touch, of her hand, seeping into my normally cold body. It made my heart beat faster and the hair on the back of my head stood straight. "I need to apply the ointment on your wound first."

"I-I can d-do it myself, my lady," I muttered quietly, stumbling over my own words. I felt her tug on my hand, but I didn't do anything to stop her. I just followed the motion, my body willingly doing what she wanted. I couldn't control my reactions to her closeness and touches. I really was like her little puppy.

"I know you can, but you wouldn't be able to see where you apply the ointment, you could miss some spot. And," she added, looking at me with a sparkle in her wine-colored eyes, "I still hadn't had a chance to thank you for what you did yesterday."

"You thanked me enough by letting me stay here and giving me new clothes."

She either didn't hear me, or didn't pay any mind to my words as she dragged me towards the futon. She got on her knees, on the wooden floor and took the bowl into her hands. She opened it and took small amount of brown-green substance on her long, slender fingers. She then pushed my tunic higher, revealing the fabric that was bounded around my chest. She frowned at it.

"Why do you have those bandages?" she asked. She put the bowl back on the futon, then she placed her now free hand on my stomach to steady me, before applying the ointment on my wound. I clenched my jay as pain shot through my body; however it wasn't the kind of pain I was expecting. It was gentler and weaker than I thought it would be. "Gods, you're skinny. It looks like you hadn't eaten at all while you were traveling."

I decided to ignore her comment. I watched with interest as she applied the substance on my skin, her gentle, feather-like touches didn't emit pain, but they caused other feelings run through my body. I felt warmth in me, my muscles relaxed and my body wanted nothing more than to curl up to her, to let her stroke my hair and cares my skin until I fall asleep.

"If you don't want to talk to me, just say so," she said quietly, bringing me back to reality.

"I-I am sorry, my lady, I just… got lost in thoughts…" I muttered, trying to remember what she asked. "Those bandages…" I trailed off for a while, trying to think about the best excuse of the fabric around my chest. But with her soft fingers and gentle touches, it was hard to concentrate. "I got cut on the way to Takara. It should be half-healed by now, but I don't want to risk dirtying this tunic…"

"Shall I look on that wound, too?" she asked, looking straight into my eyes, as if she actually really cared. I just stared down at her. It seemed so unreal. I was nobody, since my village was destroyed and family killed, I was no-longer who I used to be. I could also be just a child of an ordinary peasant. And yet, I had her kneeling before me, taking care of my wound as if I was the member of the nobility and she was my maid. It should be the other way around.

"Y-you shouldn't be doing this, my lady," I said, closing my eyes and turning my head away. What was wrong with me? While I stared into her eyes, I wanted nothing more than reveal the truth to her. I wanted her to know. I gripped the fabric of my new tunic tighter in my hand.

"Ara? You mean to say that I shouldn't be caring about the health of my servants?" she asked with quirked eyebrow. The tone of her voice was somewhat conversational, and yet I could hear challenge in it. I sighed.

"That's-… that is not what I meant, my lady."

"No? Then what did Kuga mean by his words?"

_His words. _It echoed in my ears, making me want to tear the fabric off of my chest to show her she was wrong. I lowered my head, taking in a deep breath, trying to calm down. This was wrong, I shouldn't be reacting this way. I never did. So why now? Why do I want _her_ of all people to know? It's not like I've known her for a long time, we've only just met. We were strangers.

"I-… It is not proper for you to be on your knees before me, taking care of me," I blurred out the first thing that came to my mind. Fujino-sama looked at me with a quirked eyebrow and amused look on her face. I frowned at her for a second, until I realized what I had just said. I felt my cheeks grow warm with a blush and I quickly looked away, ashamed of my choice of words, but I couldn't help looking at her face out of the corner of my eye.

"Ara… then would Kuga like to get on his knees and take care of me?" she asked with a teasing smile on her lips. I felt warmth grow in my cheeks, seeping to my neck and down my whole body. I gulped at the image. She was beautiful, gorgeous and, kneeling down there, looking up at me with that naughty, mischievous glint in her eyes, she looked… I suddenly wanted to throw her on the futon, get her out of that kimono and ravish her body. I've never know what kind of desire men felt when they saw a beautiful woman, but now it coursed through my body, bringing every nerve alive.

"I-… I d-didn't mean it like th-that!"

Her smile widened into a mischievous grin, her hand went up my belly, until it touched the fabric covering my breasts. "Ara… I can't say that I would mind, even if you did," she said in a husky, low voice that made me gulp. Without another word, she took the bandages that Youko left here and she gently warped it around my belly. It didn't hurt much, just enough to get my mind off of what just happened. She then tugged the tunic down to cover my body and I found out that I missed the heat of her palms against my cool skin.

"I'll come to check on you tomorrow morning," she said with that small smirk still on her face. "Have a good night, Kuga. I hope you'll have..." she paused, smirked and winked at me, "…pleasurable dreams."

With that, she left, every her move was graceful, only her hips swayed under the kimono just a little bit more than was necessary.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey, guys! **

**Thanks for the reviews! I don't even know why I made Natsuki so low… I've always thought that she was smaller than Mai, Midori and Shizuru… **

**Well, anyways, here's the next chapter! I'm kind of excited, to be honest. Natsuki's past is something I came up with very quickly, though I didn't think about Shizuru and her past. I'm not sure what to do with it… I'll think of something, don't worry! **

**So, let me know what you think! Every feeling you had while reading this, every thought that went through your head, every little idea you might have about this story, I want to know about all of it! **

**Now, please, enjoy!**

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The door to my room opened quietly. I was lying on my right side, facing the door, so I just lifted my head a bit and opened one eye to see who came in. I watched the person clad in light-violet kimono come into the room. Fujino-sama closed the door quietly, then she turned to me. I shifted my body slightly backwards, so I was now lying partly on my side and partly on my back. I felt like a puppy which wanted a scratch on its belly from its master. The only things missing were pointy ears and a wagging tail.

A smile broke on her face, her crimson eyes shone with amusement and something I couldn't read.

"Ara, Kuga-san isn't a morning person, this is surprising," she said, still smiling. I just groaned quietly and let my head fall back on my arm. Fujino-sama chuckled; the sound reminded me of bird's songs and the quiet sound of a river in the forest in the middle of the summer.

She moved. I only saw her feet and the lower part of her kimono now, so I couldn't tell what exactly she did. After a short while, she came to me and kneeled down, on the futon this time. She gently uncovered me to my waist and took off the bandages on my belly. A shiver of cold ran down my spine when cool air of the room hit my skin warm from the sleep.

Fujino-sama chuckled again. "Ara, ara. Is Kuga uncomfortable because I am taking care of him again and he didn't yet have a chance to take care of me?"

I felt my cheeks turn red at her comment. I turned my head away from her as much, as I could in my position, so I was looking on the wall on the other side of the room, but I could still see her and the mischievous half-smile-half-smirk on her face. I was too sleepy to actually say something, so I only groaned, although it sounded more like a growl.

"Ara, don't worry about it, I'm sure you'll have a chance to take care of me," she chuckled again. I felt her warm hand gently caressing the skin on my hip in little circles, while the other gently touched the wound, applying the ointment. "But now, I'd like to ask you something."

I looked at her as if to say 'keep going', although I didn't really know what I wanted her to keep on with – the touches or talking. Probably both.

"You never told me anything about yourself. Where are you from? Where did you learn to fight like that? Why is someone like you a mercenary?"

I let out a small humming sound, to let her know that I was thinking about the answer. Nobody had ever asked me that and I didn't know what amount of truth I could reveal, if any. But when I thought about a complete lie, I couldn't help the cold feeling that flowed through me. I didn't want to lie to her, at least not completely.

"I-… I came from the village of Nitta, on the north of the realm," I answered quietly. One piece of truth is out, few more to go.

"I heard about it. It was destroyed, three years ago, wasn't it? That's why you are a mercenary? Because you couldn't find a new home? I know north isn't as inhabited as these parts of Namae…" she trailed off, waiting for my response.

"Yes, it was. Me, and a few others had survived, but… When we got to another village, I left them there. Peasants will always be peasants; they could do what they were thought to do anywhere. But me… I didn't have a place to stay, because I didn't know anything, apart from fighting."

"Ara…" she muttered, sounding deep in thought. "Why is your name Kuga? Does it have something in common with the noble family that lived in the village?"

I knew she would ask about that, but I still didn't know what to say to her. "I-…" I trailed off, searching for words. "Actually, I grew up in their mansion. They found me when I was just a baby. Everyone started to call me Kuga, because my Lord decided to keep me. I was supposed to be a guard. That's why I was led to fighting all my life."

"I heard that in Kuga family there were very interesting people. They were kind, but strict, wise and very protective. I've never met them, although I really wanted to," she smiled sadly, but that was soon replaced by the look of interest. "But the most interesting was young lady, as I heard. She was beautiful, like her mother, but she had the nature of her father. She was cold and distant, according to those who had met her. Have you ever spoken to her? Have you ever seen her? Did she survive the attack?"

"Young lady Natsuki…" I trailed off yet again. I didn't know what to say to her. A part of me wanted to just say the truth, that Natsuki really did survive and now, Fujino-sama was taking care of her, healing her wounds. But I couldn't do that. I couldn't just go and reveal the self that I wanted to burry in myself for the past year. "She died. I-I was supposed to protect her, and yet she died and I stayed alive."

Sadness settled on Fujino-sama's face. She was quiet for a short time, her fingers stroked my skin gently, as if trying to soothe me. I must say, it was working.

"What was she like? Was she as beautiful as they say she was?"

I gulped. I could just say yes and get it over with, but… I didn't want to. Although she didn't know it, when we were talking about Natsuki, we were talking about me. And I didn't like the idea of praising myself in front of others, especially not in front of her. I wanted her to know me, the real me, although she will never know about my gender and true origins. "I-… I'm sorry, but I can't answer that question. I don't know the answer."

"Ara? And why is that?" she asked with surprise written in her honey-like voice."I thought you have seen her, when you grew up in their mansion."

"I did see her, but…" I frowned. It was way too hard to concentrate on the lies and half-truths with her warm, silk-like fingers stroking my skin. "We grew up together. She was like my younger sister. That's why I don't know if she was beautiful or not. For me, she was just plain Natsuki. A childhood friend."

"Ara, I see…" she said quietly. She gently stroked the skin of my hip, as if she wasn't even paying attention to what her hands were doing. And for some reason, I liked the feeling of her warm skin on me. I closed my eyes and concentrated on the heat emanating out of her hands, the gentle, feather-like touches slowly lulled me to sleep.

I was already half-way to the dream-land, when the touching stopped, which made me open my eyes. I lifted my head, to see why was my source of heat suddenly absent. Fujino-sama slowly rose to her full high. She looked at me, her crimson eyes bored into mine immediately. After a few moments I felt the, now familiar, burning in my lungs that told me I forgot to breath, again.

"I'll come back after lunch, to check your wound," she said in that honey-like voice of hers and without waiting for my response, she left.

I groaned quietly. I slowly stood from the futon and threw my new uniform over my body. I slowly walked out of the room, placing the belt with my swords in its place on my hips. The weight of weapons soothed my now messy mind and helped me store my thoughts. I was Kuga again, the mercenary, the guard of Fujino Shizuru. When I was around the woman herself, my old self, the lady I used to be, Natsuki came out of the grave I had dug for her long time ago. My old self took over my mind whenever Fujino-sama was close and I didn't know if I wanted to prevent it, to stop that reaction, or if I wanted Natsuki to come out into this world again. I couldn't decide and, although I only realized it, it was drawing me crazy.

I didn't know what to do or where to go. I slowly walked around the mansion, trying to remember the corridors, still thinking about the effect the crimson-eyed goddess had on me. That was until I felt the scent of cooked meat and vegetable. My stomach growled and a blush bloomed on my cheeks, but my legs moved towards the room where the scent was coming from.

I slowly opened the door. I found myself in a big kitchen. There were two counters, one right next to the wall, the other in the middle of the room. On the walls were cabinets and cupboards, in the back of the room was a wood-stove and narrow, wooden door. It was hot in there, from the fire in the stove, the air was thick with warmth and smell of food. My stomach growled again.

"Oh, hi, traveler!"

I turned my head to the left, where I saw the cat-like girl, Mikoto. She was sitting on a chair near the counter; in front of her was a bowl with noodles. My stomach growled again.

"Kuga! Good morning, sleepy-head!" Mai smiled from the door near the stove. "You surely did oversleep. It's almost noon. Bet you're hungry. Just sit down and give me a second, I'll give you something to eat."

I sat next to Mikoto and waited patiently, until Mai put a plate of bread, a few small pieces of roasted meat, some kind of white sauce and a glass of water.

"What is it?" I asked, frowning at the food. I took a piece of meat in my hand, dipping it into the white thing, then I brought it to my nose to smell it.

"Don't worry, it's completely eatable. It's a roasted chicken and bread with mayonnaise, my special invention. I thought you might like it," the carrot-top smiled a bright smile. I bit down on it carefully, since I've never heard about something like mayonnaise, but as soon as it touched my tongue, I dug in, cleaning the plate sooner than I thought was possible. I've never eaten something this delicious.

Just when I was about to boast Mai's perfect cooking, I heard some weird noise from outside of the kitchen. I tensed, my hand grabbed the handle of my sword and I half-rose from my seat. The sound came again and this time, I identified it as a whimper. I was ready to go there and see what was going on, but Mai beat me to it. She came to the door and opened it, smirking all the way.

"Really, Chie? Again? You just did it about an hour ago!" the carrot-top laughed quietly. She stepped out of the way, to let Chie and a girl I hadn't yet met into the kitchen. The girl had sky-blue eyes and long, brown, soft-looking hair, her head hung low and there was a slight blush on her face. She was holding Chie's hand.

"Oh, you know it…," the black-haired girl smirked at Mai, "…we need to work on Aoi's stamina. She can last only two times at night. Poor thing…"

"Chie!" the brown-haired girl, Aoi, smacked Chie's hand. The taller girl just laughed and brought Aoi closer to her side.

"Don't be like that, love, you know I was just teasing," Chie said quietly, looking at the girl in her arms. I frowned slightly, letting my hand fall down from the handle of my sword.

"Let's go eat, shall we?" Chie asked, this time looking at Mai.

The carrot-top shook her head slightly. "Akira and Takumi should be here soon, I think we should wait for them."

True to her words, just a few moments later the door opened again and two people came in. First was a girl with serious look on her face, dark-green, long hair tied up on the back of her head and eyes that seemed way too observant for her own good. The second figure was a boy with brown, short, messy hair, a smile on his face and eyes the same shape and color as Mai's. I assumed they were siblings.

Mai introduced them as Akira, a ninja-girl who has been guarding the house, and Takumi, Mai's little brother. When they sat down, I noticed how close they were to each other, just like Chie and Aoi. I couldn't help the smile that made corners of my lips lift up a bit. The conversation that followed was a light one. They all teased each other and laughed together, not minding presence of some stranger, as if they took me into their group already. It made me wonder what had those people went through before they got here.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey, guys! **

**I'm sorry, this will be a really short one. I really don't know why it's this short; I just… kind of didn't know what else to write here. **

**Well, tomorrow's the last day of Easter holydays, and that's why I don't know when I'll manage to write another chapter and post it. So, please, be patient! My school's going to kill me one day…**

**Anyways, let me know what you think! Enjoy! **

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I stayed in the kitchen with Mai after lunch. I helped her with the dishes, just to keep myself from thinking. The carrot-head didn't seem to mind my presence. She started a small talk over the work, asking me about the places I have been in through my journey and innocent stuff like that.

"It must be great to travel the whole realm up and down," Mai smiled with almost dreamy look on her face. "I've never traveled. I was born in here, together with my brother. But my parents passed away soon and I had to take care of Takumi. It wasn't easy, especially not with his sickness. Eventually, I couldn't earn enough money to pay for his treatment. That's when Fujino-sama came to our lives. She saw me and Takumi with doctor Sagisawa. She heard about our problem with money and she offered to pay. I didn't like that idea; she didn't even know me or my brother, why should she pay for us? When I didn't accept money, she offered me a job. She gave me and Takumi a place to stay, money, everything we needed. And it was just in exchange for me cooking for her and people in here. I accepted it, and I'm glad I did. Takumi is well here and so am I."

I was quiet for a while after she ended. I felt as if some weight just dropped on me. I knew she wanted to hear my story as much as I had wanted to hear hers, but I wasn't sure what to say. It was different from when I talked to Fujino-sama. This time I could think straight and there wasn't that weird feeling that didn't allow me to lie. I just didn't want to reciprocate her sincerity with my webs of lies.

"It must have been hard for you to take care of Takumi," I muttered quietly, looking into the sink, on the plate I was just washing, just to avoid her gaze.

"Yeah, it was. But now, everything is changed. Everyone here had a rough life. Aoi had been abused by her father, and Chie, being Chie, had tried to save her by taking her away. They'd got lost in the woods. They would have died, if it hadn't been Fujino-sama. She had taken them here and offered them jobs. After half a year, she found me and Takumi. Then she took Mikoto in and after that Akira came. There are few others in here, but we don't see them much. They are in the back of the house, mostly taking care of animals and dojo."

"Dojo?" I asked, unable to hide my interest. It's been too long since I last trained fighting and although I wasn't easy to beat, I wasn't in my top shape either. And now, that my job was to protect Fujino-sama, I needed to get even better at fighting.

"Yes, it's in the back of the house. Chie can take you there, if you ask her," the red-head smiled.

We finished the dishes soon after that and with a quiet 'thank you' I left the kitchen. I went straight to my room, hoping that Fujino-sama won't be there yet. Whoever ruled this world decided to ignore my wish; when I got into my room, the crimson-eyed goddess was already there, sitting on my futon, waiting for me.

I closed the door behind me and got on my knees, lowering my head in a polite greeting. I heard shuffling of fabric and then quiet footsteps, before two feet clad in only white cloth appeared before me. A gentle touch of soft, silk-like fingers on my cheek made me look up.

"Don't," she said quietly, looking straight into my eyes. "Don't do that when you see me. At least not in privet."

I opened my mouth to argue with her, but no sound came out. Every though I had left my mind, my breathing stopped and my heart started beating so hard I was sure she could hear it. But I couldn't bring myself to care about any of that. The only thing important right now was the contact between us.

"Stand," she commanded quietly. I automatically did as I was told, never braking the eye contact between us. She let go of my chin, I instantly missed the warmth of her skin, and took the hem of my sleeve between her fingers, pulling me forwards. I followed her blindly. My control over my body was lost, she had the power to control my every movement, and although I didn't like the feeling of powerlessness it brought up in me, I couldn't fight it. I felt like a dog, a small puppy gladly obliging every command from its master.

She led me to my futon, where she knelt down. She lifted my tunic, revealing my belly and back. A shiver run down my spine as the cool air of the room hit my skin. A gentle, feather-like caress went down my belly, the feeling of warmth followed closely behind it. It shouldn't be like that. She shouldn't be on her knees in front of me. She shouldn't touch me and make me want her to touch me. She shouldn't be evoking this weird, warm feeling of nervousness in me. Her voice shouldn't sound like the most beautiful sound in this world. Her eyes shouldn't shine so brightly. Her body shouldn't be so breathtakingly desirable for me. Her touch shouldn't be gentle, silk-like and hot against my skin. I shouldn't be enjoying it.

And yet everything that shouldn't be happening was happening right in that moment. Why? I was a girl, so why did I desire the body of another woman? Did I want it because I forced myself to act like a man? Did I forget how to be a female? Was this all the 'me', Kuga, I created?

"Hmm…" she humed, breaking my line of thoughts. Her face was dangerously close to my side, I could feel her hot, wet breath on the skin of my hip. I gulped, gripping the fabric of my tunic tightly in my hands. "It seems to be healing. I didn't expect it this soon, to be honest. The ointment doctor Sagisawa gave me really did wonders to you."

I couldn't bring myself to say a single word. My throat was tightened; my thoughts seemed like small shatters of broken glass. My jaw clenched and my muscles tightened when her soft fingers touched the sensitive skin near my wound, applying the substance. I had to bite back a groan that threatened to break out of my chest.

"It's been three years since your village was destroyed," she remarked suddenly, partly taking my mind off of her gentle touches. "Were you travelling all around the Namae since then?"

"Yes," I said quietly, afraid that if I said more, my voice would break.

She looked up at me, I felt her gaze on my hot cheek, studying me as if I were just a book, opened up on a table for her to read. "We don't have to talk, if you don't want to. Just say so."

"I-It's not like that, Fujino-sama!" I said quickly, taking a slight step back. Her hand gripped my hips with force I didn't expected her to have and she made me stay on the spot.

"Than what is it? Because to me, it seems that you don't want to talk to me."

"It's just…" I paused, searching for the truth or a half-truth that I could tell her. "It's just that… it shouldn't be like this, my lady."

"What shouldn't be like this?" she asked with interest burning in her voice. I didn't allow myself to look into her face. I knew if I did, I would tell her everything, every single feeling that was raging inside of me. And that was something I couldn't do.

"You shouldn't be healing my wound. It's just that… I feel uncomfortable with you doing it," I managed to say after a short pause. I let out a breath of relief when those words left my mouth.

"Ara… well, I think you'll have to get used to it, because I won't stop treating your wound."


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey again, guys! **

**Thanks for all the awesome reviews! You really made me smile, guys :) Keep it up! I love reading your reviews! **

**So, here's the next chapter! I'm not sure how I feel about this one… Well, let me know what you think about this! **

**Now, please, enjoy!**

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"Well, here you go, fighter. The dojo. Just make sure to kick Takeda's ass as painfully as you can," Chie smirked at me, pointing at the bit arena in the middle of the small building. It was enclosed by a wooden railing and a few benches for those, who wanted to watch the fight.

I tore my gaze away from the fighting area and looked at the black-haired girl in front of me. I bowed before her. "Thank you for bringing me here."

"Oh, please, cut that out! I don't know how does it work in north, but friends don't do all the bowing in here, so just stop." And with that, she turned away and left, muttering something about northerners and how they couldn't get friendly. I frowned at her back. I couldn't get why she had called me her friend, when she knew me for just two days. Maybe it really was because she is from south. It's said that the more on the north people live, the colder they are.

I let the thought go and turned to the arena. It was big, the floor covered with white, soft-looking sand. In the back of the room were few wooden and straw dummies covered with scratches and cuts from swords. That was probably the best place to start my new training. I slowly walked towards the dummies. They were all watching me with their empty eyes, as if they were asking me to bring on everything I had.

I stopped a few feet away from the one wooden dummy that looked especially arrogant. It would be a work of art, if not for the cuts all over the wood. I drew out one of my swords quickly, stretching myself just to see if my wound hurt. It did. The blunt pain shot from my left side into my legs, knees and hands. It wasn't the worst I've ever had, but it made my grip on my sword loosen up a bit.

I gripped my sword more firmly and with one quick move, I attacked the dummy. I left a few scratches before I noticed someone's presence behind me. I turned around, letting the hand with sword fall to my side.

There stood a young man, board-shouldered, tall, with black, messy hair and dark-green eyes. He held a kendo stick in his right hand, his dark-blue pants were free around his legs. I frowned at him, bowing slightly. He did the same, not looking into my eyes. I frowned even more, I knew that guy from somewhere.

"Kon'nichiwa, stranger. I've heard about you, but I've never got a chance to meet you until now. It's a pleasure," the man said when he straightened. "My name is Takeda Masashi."

"Kuga," I said quietly, trying to not let my voice out as a dangerous growl. I knew the man and I didn't like him one bit. Four years ago, he was trying to force me into marriage. He was obsessed with me, although he proclaimed it as a very strong love. If attempt to rape me was a love, I have a pair of pointy dog-ears.

"Kuga? Wasn't that name of…"

"Probably the strongest noble family of north, yes," I cut him off. I had my doubts of my own story now. Takeda had spent two years in Nitta, if there is someone who'd know that I'm lying, it would be him.

"Then why…"

"Because I grew up there," I cut him off again.

He eyed me with interest, then he spreaded his legs a bit, getting himself in a fighting position. "Well, northerner, it would be a pleasure if you agreed to fight me. I hadn't fought any of you in a long time and I want to see if the northern style of fighting is still the same. And, we need to make sure you are able to protect our lady, guard."

I frowned. He knew the style of fight of northerners; he studied it when he stayed in my home village. But he also knew the style of southerners, since he lived here. Maybe he even knew the fighting stile of westerners and easterners. He looked like a child of South, with his tanned skin and eyes like pine-needles, but he could surprise me. Never judge a book by its cover.

I put my katana into its sheath. I didn't like leaving my swords out of fight, but I didn't want to kill him or hurt him badly. It was just a training, not a real fight.

"If you want to fight me, I'd need a weapon equal to yours. I cannot fight a stick with my katana."

He quickly ran out, giving me enough time to undo my belt and put both of my swords on the ground. I put the belt back on, this time on my stomach, to hold the tunic there. I didn't want to give the pervert a peek at my body.

Takeda came back with another kendo stick. He gave it to me, or more like threw it on me, and got into his fighting position again. I gripped the stick in my hand, it was lighter than my sword, that meant the blows would be faster, but weaker. I had a slight disadvantage, since I was used to the weight and speed of my katana and this stick was… well, it was a stick.

I waited patiently. Takeda eyed me with a challenge in his eyes. He wanted me to attack first, but I wasn't going to do that. The first attack is easily readable and to experienced fighter it serves as a show of weaknesses of his opponent. In my eyes, it was a mistake I wasn't going to make. My father taught me not to do mistakes, especially in fighting and making decisions.

The man in front of me moved. He probably couldn't stand it anymore and attacked me. I quickly blocked, noticing his speed and force as well as unguarded sides and legs. I let him attack a few more times, just to make sure of his weaknesses and to make a plan how to use them in my favor.

I stroke, my stick going for his left side. He blocked and when the wood of my stick met the wood of his one, a blunt wave of pain shoot through my body from my left side. I gritted my teeth to not let any sound out. I took a few steps back, letting him attack again.

After what felt like hours of striking and dodging, we were both out of breath, sweaty and tired. I had a few bruises and painful spots where he managed to hit me, but I was sure he had them too. I had to end it, because he couldn't.

I hinted an attack on his left foot. When he tried to dodge it with his stick, I quickly changed the direction of my sally and hit him hard into the right wrist. He groaned in pain and let go of his stick. With a not-too-gentle push, I knocked him on the ground.

"I give!" he breathed out when the end of my stick pointed at his chest. I nodded my agreement and let the hand with the stick fall to my side. I stepped back, clenching the handle in my hand and gritting my teeth to not let the grunts of pain out of my mouth. It was hard to breathe, since my breaths were fast and shallow, and the air didn't want to come into my lungs through the gritted teeth.

A sound of clasping hands brought me back to reality. I turned, letting the stick fall onto the sand. There, on one of the benches, sat Fujino-sma, her lips were curled into a small smile and her eyes shone with wine-red flame. She seemed impressed. I bowed before her; it meant to show respect and to give a nice end to the performance, as if we were fighting just to please her. I frowned at that thought; Fujino-sama wasn't someone who would be pleased by seeing two men fighting. Although I didn't know much about her, I could tell that.

"You really are a good swordsman," Takeda said when he got up from the ground. I only nodded to him. "I guess it's true that northerners aren't very talkative."

"That was really a great performance," Fujino-sama said, still smiling. She slowly, gracefully rose from her seat and walked to us. We both bowed before her. I felt her gaze on the back of my head, I could tell she was frowning. I know she said I didn't need to bow my greetings to her, but she did say I didn't need to do it in privet, didn't she?

"Thank you, Fujiono-sama," Takeda said. I did the same, although my words were barely louder than a whisper.

I felt her soft, warm hand on my right shoulder. She gripped my shoulder tightly for a second, then let go of me, I automatically missed her warmth.

"Takeda," the red-eyed goddess turned to the dojo-master. I lifted my gaze to her, just to see how she looked like. She held her head high, her back was straight s if she was landing against a wall and her face had a calm, but not-too-friendly expression. "Would you mind if I took Kuga away from you for the rest of the day?"

"Not at all, my lady," the raven-haired man said.

"Good."

The touch returned to my shoulder. Soft, warm fingers caressed the skin of my neck; the touch reminded me of the touch of feathers or snow-flakes. Then, those same fingers stopped on my chin, lifting my head so I could meet her gaze. Her eyes took my breath and rational thinking away from me.

"Come," she said quietly. I rose to my feet instantly, not caring about anything but the wine color of her eyes. Her hand disappeared from my chin and went to the hem of my tunic. I felt gentle tugging and I automatically followed it. I could only grab my swords before Fujino-sama led me out of the dojo and into the house, and I followed like a good dog.

She led me through the manor, until we got into the corridor I didn't know, yet.

"Where are we going?" I asked quietly, my voice husky and low.

"I have an important event to attend to tomorrow and I need you to be there. I want Reito to know that he can't do whatever he wants. But, I can't have you all sweaty, smelly and dirty from today's fight. That's why you're going to take a bath."

I just stared at her, although my legs didn't stop moving. Soon, we arrived into a big room. The walls and the floor were covered by light-blue, light-violet and white squares, there were many shelves with many glass bottles filled with some kinds of liquids on them. In the middle of the room, in the floor was a big hole, which was actually a bathtub, but it reminded me of a swimming pool.

Fujino-sama let go of my tunic and went straight to one of the shelves. She took two bottles, one filled with violet-colored liquid, the other one full of white liquid. She gave me the violet one. "Use this on your hair," she said, then gave me the white bottle, "And this on your body. You have towels there," she pointed to the pile of white, fluffy fabric. "When you're done washing, come to your room, I'll look at your wounds there."

With that, she left me alone. I took all my clothes off and went to the tub, the tapping of my bare feet echoed through the whole room. The tub was already filled with hot, steaming water and I suddenly couldn't wait to get in. I took off the last article of fabric off of my body and sighed as I, for what felt like the first time in eternity, felt free. I slowly stepped into the water. It was hot, but not too hot. It was a nice change after the cold baths in rivers I had been forced to take when I'd been traveling.

I swam around the tub for a bit, trying to ignore the pain in my left side. When my hands touched the skin of my belly, to wash it with the liquid I got from Fujino-sama, I frowned. I thought that my skin wasn't very soft, from the traveling, rough clothes, dust of the roads and baths I had taken whenever I had the chance, which was whenever I was near a deep enough part of some river; but now, after the swim in hot water, my skin seemed soft to touch. My throat clenched. What if Fujino-sama notices the softness of my skin? What if she takes the fabric off of my body and finds out I'm actually a girl?

But then again, would it be really that bad?

I didn't allow myself to think about that for the rest of my stay in the bath. I washed my body and hair as fast as I could and got out. I quickly dried myself with towels Fujino-sama left here for me, then I got dressed and left the bath, not caring about my long, wet hair or the water in the tub. I was sure Chie or Aoi had their orders of what to do about it. And they'll maybe use it in they own way before taking care about it.

When I came into my room, Fujino-sama was already there. She was looking out of the window, into the garden, her back turned towards me. I closed the door quietly and stepper forwards, the leather boots made quiet, tapping sounds on the floor, but the red-eyed goddess didn't seem to notice. I had to suppress a sudden urge to go to her and hug her from behind. My body seemed to ignore my mind when I was around her. I quickly couched quietly, to prevent myself from pressing my body into hers.

She turned around with something like a surprised look on her face, but that was soon replaced by a soft smile when she saw me. She straightened and took a step towards me.

"It suits you," she smiled a happy smile, "I knew it would."

"What? I don't underst…"

"The scent," she said, as if it was obvious. I frowned at her, taking a deep breath. That was the first time I noticed the scent of lavender and sea-salt all around me. It was mixed with a scent of sweet vanilla. "Don't tell me you didn't notice."

I shook my head and she laughed. I watched in awe as her heat tilted slightly backwards, showing off her long, slender neck and delicate, soft, porcelain-like skin. The sound of her laughter was gentle and beautiful in my ears.

She was still chuckling when she looked into my eyes and all rational thoughts flew out of the window. My breath hitched in my throat and I couldn't remember how to breathe. She came closer, taking the hem of my sleeve in between her fingers. She led me to the futon on the ground. Kneeling, she let go of the fabric and lifted my tunic, so she reviled the fabric around my chest. She eyed it, then her eyes traveled to my now bare stomach. She touched it, her soft fingers gently brushed my skin sensitive from the hot bath.

"You have a very soft skin, even for an eunuch," she remarked. Her eyes lifted to mine again and I forgot how to breathe, again. I couldn't think of an answer to that. She didn't push it; she just took the bowl with the ointment and applied the substance on my wound. I didn't want her to stop touching my skin. Her touches sent nice, warm feeling through my whole body.

After she nursed the wound on my side, she made sure to take care of every wound and bruise I had on my body. When she was done with the front, she made me lie down on the futon. She took my tunic off completely and left me only in the fabric on my chest and underpants. She gently applied the ointment on all of the dark spots on my body, on the old wounds and every spot she didn't consider all-right.

I didn't know how I ended up lying on the futon, nor I knew how she ended up sitting next to me, humming softly, with her fingers tangled up in my hair. She gently pulled on in, played with the few strands of the midnight colored main of mine. The gentle tugs and soft humming slowly lulled me to sleep.

"You know, you should show this hair of yours," she said quietly, just before I had a chance to slip into the realm of dreams. "You should tie it up in a ribbon and let it fall down on your back."

I hummed my reply and she resumed the gentle pulls and tugs, her humming filled the room again and this time, she let me fall asleep.


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey there, guys! **

**I'm sorry it took me this long to update, but, honestly, there's been many, many things going on, so I couldn't get to writing (and that makes me angry and sad, because I LOVE writing). This chapter probably won't be good enough, which I'm sorry for, but I did the best I could in my current state of mind. It isn't easy for me right now, but I know you guys deserve this! So let me know what you think! I hope I'll manage to update sooner the next time. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

The important event that Fujino-sama needed to attend was, actually, an audience. The people from the village were allowed to come into the mansion to talk to her, ask for her advices, tell her their problems and speak with her about many things that worried them. She sat in the reception room on a big armchair that looked like a Hydra's necks and heads joined together to create a throne for her, and I stood by her right side with my hands crossed at my chest, as if I was her guarding dog. She listened to the people and told them her opinion, gave them money if they needed it, took the kids in her arms and held them, played with them.

I just watched her in awe from my place at the side of her chair. She looked so happy when she had those kids with her, even when the small nodules were tugging at her hair none-too-gently. Her eyes glowed and sparkled, the smile on her face was wide, she looked like she was enjoying herself. She was beautiful. It made me wonder what it would be like to have a family with her. Would she be like this even then or did she make herself look like she enjoyed it just for the sake of the people?

We took a small beak for lunch and she applied the ointment on my wound again. It was almost healed but is still hurt when I moved too much.

It was slowly getting darker outside and I prayed to whoever ruled this world for it to end soon. My prayers landed on daft year and I cursed under my breath for that, because as soon as I thought that, a young girl stepped into the room and although I had my hair tied up in a ribbon, the short ones on the back of my head stood up. She reminded me of the darkness that slowly crept onto the world to take the sun away so people could sleep. But she seemed like the wrong kind of darkness, the one that makes one fear even the sound of his own heart.

I grabbed the handle of my sword, frowning at the girl. She was tall, but not taller than me. She was slim, but she didn't seem weak. Her sea-blue hair ended above her shoulder on the right side, but on the left side, it went past the shoulder and ended above her breast. Her violet eyes sparkled with something I couldn't place, but I didn't like it. There was confidence in her movements, as if she owned this place.

Fujino-sama smiled at the girl and greeted her politely, as she did with everyone else. The girl bowed, then looked up, right into the red eyes of the goddess. I growled at her for that. For some reason, it seemed wrong for the girl to look into the eyes of Fujino-sama and it seemed wrong for the goddess to return the gaze.

"My name is Tomoe," the girl said, a small smirk filled with confidence bloomed on her face, "And I am here to ask you for a favor."

"Ara, what do you want, Tomoe?" Fujino-sama asked kindly, her voice filled the room like a warm honey. It was a sharp change against the strangely false warmth I could hear in the girl's voice. It made me grip the handle of my sword tighter.

"I want to become your maid!" the girl proclaimed. The statement was full confidence as if there wasn't a slightest change that she would be rejected.

The red-eyed goddess looked the girl up and down, as if deciding what to do. "Why do you want to become my servant?" she asked after a while. My muscles tensed. I didn't want that girl to be here, to serve Fujino-sama. She was… I didn't know what she was, but she was evil.

The girl smiled brightly and took a step forward. "I-I am from a good family, I know what maids do and I can do it better than anyone! I'll be the best maid you'd ever had!"

That made Fujino-sama frown. I didn't recognize that expression on her face, though I knew it meant she was thinking. I couldn't help the growl that went out of my chest. If she was thinking about letting the girl stay here, I'm not sure if I'll be able to keep myself from hurting her. The arrogance and self-obsessed confidence was literary pouring out of her and that was something I couldn't stand.

"If you are from a good family…," Fujino-sama started, still frowning, still thinking about something. Her voice changed from sweet, warm honey into something colder, more distant, colder, rougher, I dare to say. I wasn't used to hear that tone in her voice and I was glad that it wasn't aimed against me. "…you don't need to work here. You can find another job, more suitable for you than being a maid."

"But-…" the girl took another step forwards, then another one, until she was at arm-length from Fujino-sama. "I want to be your maid! I want to serve you! I always wanted to-…!"

Growling, I stepped towards her. The hand which was gripping one of my swords lifted, so just a small part of the steel could be seen. I was acting on instincts and for some reason, my instincts told me to protect Fujino-sama from this girl. I didn't like the closeness of those two. It felt wrong to just look at it without doing something about it.

"Take a few steps back, before I'll be forced to hurt you," I growled, looking straight into the girl's eyes. She eyed me with confidence and contempt, as if I was nothing more than a piece of clay on the field. I saw red. I moved my hand to draw the sword out of its sheath, but a firm, warm hand on my right shoulder stopped me.

"Don't, Kuga. I don't want you to hurt anyone." It was just a whisper in my ear, gentle and sweet, though it was uncompromising and strict. It made me calm down, a little bit. The scent of lavender and vanilla warped itself around me; I felt my muscles relax and I let the sword fully slip into its place again.

"This is the last chance. Step back!" I growled at the girl. She looked at me, than at Fujino-sama, who was standing behind me, a little closer than was necessary. There was hurt in the girl's eyes. Her jaw clenched and muscles flexed. I felt her fist land on the right side of my chest. It sent a weak wave of pain through my chest and I growled at her. But before I could draw the sword out, the girl turned and ran off. I wanted to go after her, but the warm hand squeezed my shoulder tightly.

"It's okay. You did great. Calm down and get into your position. This won't take long now."

I nodded my head and returned to my place next to the armchair. I gripped the handles of my swords in my hands and I was sure there was a cruel frown on my face. But I didn't care. I felt the girl's fist on my chest, I was sure I'll have a bruise, but for some reason, I didn't mind that. I would have taken a lot worse hit, if it would be for Fujino-sama.

Why did I do that? Why did I just jump in front of the girl when she got too close to Fujino-sama? Was it because I was her guard and I didn't like the girl? Or was there something else? I didn't want the girl, or anyone else, too close to Fujino-sama. But why? Why would I mind? Why should I?

Until the end of the audience no-one came too close to Fujino-sama, nor did they act with disrespect. I didn't know if it was because they knew how to act around nobility or if it was because of my frown and my infamous 'Kuga-death-glare'.

After the audience, Fujino-sama took me to the kitchen where she did something that took my breath away – she sat down to the kitchen-counter, just as everyone else, and ate with the servants in her house. She talked to them, asked them how they were and if they weren't missing something. I was amazed by that kind of behavior, but the rest of the kitchen seemed quite okay with it, as if they were used to it.

When we finished dinner, Fujino-sama took the sleeve of my tunic in between her fingers and led me into my room. She brought me to the futon and took off the upper part of my tunic, this time completely, so I was left only in my pants and the bandages around my chest. A shiver ran down my spine as the cold air kept hitting my skin and another shiver appeared when soft, warm hands of the red-eyed goddess touches the skin of my belly.

"Ara, I have to thank you for earlier today," she said quietly, as she gently applied the ointment on my wound. "Kuga was very brave when he was trying to protect me. And really cute, too."

The last sentence brought warmth into my cheeks, I was positive I was blushing. I still couldn't get used to Fujino-sama's teasing, though she did it quite a lot. I heard a quiet chuckle. I looked down at the woman. She was looking at me, out eyes met and my breathing stopped.

"Tell me, Kuga…" she started quietly, one of her hands applying the ointment, the other gently stroking my belly, until it felt like my insides were in flames. My knees shook slightly and I could feel wetness between my legs. That was the first time I actually felt arousal. "…what color were young lady Natsuki's eyes?"

"Green. Like the blades of fresh grass after the winter leaves," I answered without thinking.

"Ara… That's strange," she muttered.

"What? Why?"

"Well, your eyes are green, too. They are like emeralds. Your hair has midnight color, just like hers was supposed to have. And how you stood up for me today and back then, in the alley, just to protect me, even though I was a stranger then… it's typical for the Kuga family to be so overprotective, as I've heard. I know you said you grew up there, but that isn't enough to just teach you this. It's strange; this kind of behavior is typical for the Kuga family, especially for young Natsuki… I heard rumors that she might be alive."

"I can assure you that she is not," I almost growled, tearing my eyes away from hers. She was getting close to me, way too close for my liking and I needed to do something about it, although it felt wrong to stop her. For some reason, I wanted her to know the truth. But I wasn't about to just tell, her. "I saw her death. I saw how one of the soldiers stabbed her into the stomach with his sword. There was no way she could have survived."

"Ara… If Kuga is sure about this, then I will believe him."

"I am sure. And, if I could ask a favor of you…"

"Ara, what is it?"

"Please, don't mention her, ever again. I want to forget my failure. Or at least not think about it when I don't have to."

There was a slight pause as she gently stroked my skin, but her face looked strangely calm, way too calm. She didn't look at me when she replied: "As you wish."


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey again, guys! **

**Yeah, this still goes on. I don't see why exactly… It's maybe just because of the realization that things can go from bad to worse, but I don't see this as a good story anymore, for some reason. I will continue, if you want me to, because I have the storyline thought through, but don't expect miracles from me… Yeah, the situation I am in is really getting the better of me, so don't mind my stupid talk… **

**Anyways, the tenth chapter is up! Natsuki's past will be uncovered, but only for you. You'll have to wait 'till Shizuru gets to know all there is about her 'cute, overprotective Kuga'. So, let me know what you think of this! **

**Enjoy! **

* * *

I had troubles falling asleep that night. Fujino-sama brought back unwanted memories. All I could think about was my past and my possible future as a mercenary. And when I fell asleep, it didn't change.

_I am eighteen again. I am in my home, in front of the manor of the Kuga family. The two statutes of silver wolves are looking at me with their empty eyes, as if they wanted to say 'run away'. I don't. I walk into the house, as I always do after my lesson of horse-riding. I slowly walk to my room. In there, there is a comfortable futon under the window, a big chest on the ground and the closet full of kimonos and fighting tunics. My father always wanted me to be good at fighting and ruling, my mother wanted me to be graceful and calm, loving and nice to people. I always loved father's lessons more, for some reason. _

_I go to the chest and open it. I pull out two swords from there, my swords, the ones my father gave me when I was just a child. I pull one of them out of its sheath and start practice slow movements of the fighting dance my father wanted to teach me. _

_A high-pitched scream makes me stop. I quickly grab the belt with the second sword and the empty sheath and, pinning it into its place on my hips, I ran out of my room, towards the screaming. I can smell fire, blood and burnt hair all around me. It makes me sick with disgust and fear. _

_My blood runs cold when I realize that the screaming is coming out of my parent's bedroom. I would never go there without a permission, but this time, I don't have a choice. I grip the sword tighter and open the door carefully. The sight makes me want to cry, scream and fight. _

_My mother is lying on the bed with four men in black uniforms around her. Three of the men are holding her down and the fourth is fucking her. There are tears on my mother's cheeks. Her green eyes find mine and there is a clear message: 'leave!'. I don't want to, I want to fight, to free her. But the smell of fire and the fact that one of the men notices me makes me turn around and run. _

_I run to the room opposite my parent's room. There, in a wooden child's bed, is lying my only half a year old sister. I take her in my arms without a second thought. I hear the sounds of battle; screams of men, the jangling of swords against swords, the hits and sounds of bodies falling onto the ground. I push my baby-sister closer to me and run away. _

_We get out of the house. I see the village in flames, people being killed, kids crying. Everything is a one big, burning chaos. I grip my sister tighter in my arms and run towards the village. There is nothing to save in my house, but maybe I can help the villagers. _

_When we get to the village, I try to find someone who is not a soldier trying to kill me. I find a few people, they are all wounded, but they can walk. I try to take them away, leading them through the streets, trying to assure them that everything will be alright, that I'll get them out of there. But we have to halt when a bunch of soldiers step on the street, blocking our way out. I give my sister to one of the villagers, so I can fight, along with some men that are not badly hurt. _

_I move, dance, wounding the opponents, never killing them. I was thought to never kill anybody, my father always wanted to keep me from committing that sin._

_I myself got few hits, but the anger and despair in me is blocking the pain, not allowing me to feel anything apart from the warm leather-covered handles in my hands. When I look around, after the last one of the soldiers in black leather is kneeling before me, I see the villagers all around, trying to get away. And I see my baby-sister on the ground, crying. _

_One soldier comes to her. He says something I can't understand, then he reaches for her. I run towards them with my swords in my hand and a war-cry on my lips. Without a thought, I stab him into the back, my sword dipping into his body to the halt. It is the first time I kill a man. _

_I get into another fight, with a few soldiers. My body is now becoming aware of the pain, my movements are slower and I am getting one hit after another. I don't have a choice but to run. When I decide to run away from there and turn around to grab my baby-sister, I can see one of the soldiers taking her away. I try to run after them, but my legs give and I end up kneeling on the ground. The only thing left behind my sister is a strain of midnight-blue hair in the clay mixed with blood. _

"_Niiinaaaaaa!" _

I woke up with a cry of my sister's name. It sound tasted strangely sour in my mouth after this long. I hadn't said it for the past two years. I didn't realize that I had tears on my cheek until I buried my face in my palms. It was the first time for the past year that I remembered what happened back then, when our village had been attacked, my parents killed and my sister taken away from me. I didn't know what happened to my sister after that event, although I spent two years looking for her.

I didn't know how much time had passed until a sound of gentle taps on the floor made me lift my head. I got out of the futon and grabbed my swords, not caring that I only wore my thin, white, cotton underpants and the thin fabric of lower part of the tunic. I slowly opened the door. There was no-one in the corridor. I frowned, I could have sworn that I heard something. The hair on the back of my head stood up, something was off.

I walked out of my room quietly and down the corridor, my bare feet making only quiet noise that could easily be overheard. I gripped the handles of my swords tighter when I heard the tapping of leather boots on the wooden floor. I gulped and followed the sounds.

I frowned when I realized where they were heading. Fujino-sama's bedroom. That meant Reito sent them. And the fact that they seemed to know where they were going made me think that someone must have let them in. They seemed to have information of the mansion; they knew which turn to take and which door to enter. Someone from here was a traitor and I needed to find out who. But first, I needed to survive this.

The next thing I noticed was that they didn't make any sound apart from the tapping, which meant they didn't have armor, or it was a leather armor, which wasn't hard to get through. At least one thing in my favor.

I tried to concentrate on the tapping. I could make out three pairs of feet, but I had a feeling that here were more of them. There always more of the bastards like those.

My throat clenched when they turned into the corridor, where Fujino-sama's room was. They were fast and the ache in my body from yesterday's match in the dojo and today's standing on the spot didn't allow me to move quickly. That caused me to catch up to them when they were already standing in front of the door.

I cursed under my breath when I saw them. There were six men in front of Fujino-sama's room, all clad in black, leather armor. They seemed too occupied with the door, so it gave me a little amount of time to decide what to do. There was a possibility that I would take them all down, but with the shape I was in, I was worried I wouldn't. So I did the only think I could think of. I hit one of my swords with the other, the steel rand in the quiet house and vibrated in my arms. It also made all of the soldiers to turn around.

They all just looked at me for a second, clearly caught off-guard, then they launched at me with their swords in hands. I had to take a few steps back to prepare myself for the encounter. I tried to move as if I was dancing, like I always did when I fought, but my body didn't cooperate with me. It was sore and slow. I managed to block and avoid first few blows, but I couldn't attack them, until…

"Aaahhhh!" I screamed as a hot, burning wave of pain shot through my body. My back got caught in blinding inferno of pain. I was just trying to do the twist-and-slash move, but I wasn't fast enough and one of the soldiers got me. Then my right leg, left arm, lower part of abdomen and right side followed suit until I got hold of myself and attacked them with my unharmed arm. I hit one of the soldiers in the stomach, burying my sword into him to the handle. I quickly drew it out and, with a lucky blow I hit another one, cutting through his neck. He turned around as the blood shot from the wound, some of it onto my face and tunic, the rest onto the faces and bodies of other soldiers, into their eyes, blinding them. I took my chance and stabbed three of them into their chests, making sure to hit their hearts.

As the fifth man of the six slid down of my sword, I noticed Fujino-sama standing in the door leading into her room with shocked, horrified look on her face. I just stared at her for a second. Her wine-like eyes were completely confused and seemed almost scared, fragile. I couldn't stand the look on her face.

I quickly turned to the last of the soldiers, who was now on the ground, trying to get the blood from his eyes. I couldn't look at the red-eyed goddess, not right after I killed five men, so I focused all my attention on him. My body suddenly didn't feel so sore and burning from the cuts.

I came to the man on the ground, my feet making wet sounds as they touched the blood-covered floor and, with a strength I myself didn't knew I had, I lifted him with both of my hands, not caring about the pain that shot through my body. I slammed him against the wall, growling from the deep of my throat.

"Look, you filthy, fucked up piece of shit," I growled at him. There was a look of fear in his eyes and it only made me grip the front of his uniform tighter. "Go to that fuck-minded boss of yours and tell him…"

I looked at the goddess. She was still shocked and scared, almost looking like a little child. The blood of men mixed with my own was near her, it almost touched her feet. She looked so innocent, fragile and vulnerable, so sweet, peaceful. And these animals were trying to hurt her. I couldn't let that happen.

"Tell Kanzaki Reito that no-one, and I mean NO-ONE lays a hand on Fujino-sama! Not when I am here to protect her. And tell him he can go fuck himself! I'll fucking kill him if that's what it takes to keep Fujino-sama safe!"

I threw the man away. The anger made me forget the pain in my body for now, as I watched the man run away.

I turned around, only to see all of the girls and Takumi in the blood-covered corridor. They all looked horrified. I felt their gazes on me. They thought I was a killer. Maybe they were afraid of me. I left five men lying on the ground, without traces of life. I was a murderer.

"Chie, Aoi, Mai," Fujino-sama's honey-like voice cut through the silence like a knife. "Could you, please, take care of this mess? Akira, take Takumi to your room. I'll take care of Kuga."

She came to me, her feet making weird, wet sounds in the blood, and grabbed my hand in hers. The warmth from her palm made me melt into the touch and I followed the tugging that led me into Fujino-sama's room.


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey guys! **

**I'm still going through some stuff, so I don't know when I'll manage to update the next time, but I wanted to give you this chapter to let you know that I won't leave this story unfinished. I promise you, guys, I'll try to work as hard on this story as I can. **

**So, let me know what you think about this! I know it's not the best thing on this planet, but I hope you'll like it!**

* * *

I hissed in pain when I felt the wad of cotton-wool wet with alcohol touch the wound on my back. It was a gentle touch, but it hurt. Now that I wasn't so angry anymore, the pain was in my whole body, torturing me. I felt like shattering down into a pile of nothing right then and there. The only thing that kept me whole was Fujino-sama's warm, gentle touch. She had one of her hands on my lower back, drawing soothing circles onto my skin with her thumb, the other hand held the cotton-wool, which was now used to disinfect the cuts.

I couldn't help the tension in my muscles and it wasn't just because of the pain. She was too close to the fabrics that kept my breasts from being visible and the material wasn't as fixed around me as I'd want it to be, thanks to the cut on my back that had hit the bondages. She could easily take it off and that made my throat clench.

I groaned and jerked with pain when she put the cotton on my wound again.

"Shhhh," she whispered, her voice was too close to my ear, I could feel her breath on my neck. It sent shivers running wild on my back. I didn't expect her to be this close. "Just a little bit more, hold on."

For some reason her voice helped me to calm down a bit. I gripped the futon I was laying on, gritting my teeth to stop any kind of sound that threatened to come out of my mouth. I closed my eyes, but they didn't stay closed for long. In my memories, I saw the men I killed, their faces covered with blood, curled into painful expression full of fear. A cold feeling curled in my stomach like a big snake and started biting on me. Guilt.

I winced when the cotton touched the wound on my back again. The cotton instantly left and, instead of it, I felt warm, soft fingers with something wet on them. The ointment doctor Sagisawa gave me for the wounds.

"If Kuga keeps on like this, there won't be enough of the ointment for him," Fujino-sama said quietly, I could clearly hear the smile in her voice. My cheeks grew warm and my eyes shut closed. "But, I wouldn't be here if he didn't do what he did. Thank you, Kuga."

"I-… It is what I am here for," I muttered. I didn't know why, but the feeling of guilt in my stomach was suddenly suppressed by the warmth of her voice and words. Her touch made my muscles relax and her scent calmed me down. I closed my eyes, enjoying the attention she was giving me, like a cat would enjoy the warmth of sun.

She didn't answer. She just gently stroked the skin around my wound, then she covered it with bandages.

"Is there any place on your body that isn't wounded?" she asked after a little while.

"I don't think so," I muttered quietly. She stroked the skin of my back with her hand, applying the ointment on the wounds. It shouldn't feel good, pleasant and calming. She shouldn't be nursing my wounds. My stomach shouldn't be full of some tingling, warm sensation. My head shouldn't be fuzzy and my body shouldn't feel like I wasn't even hurt. But everything that shouldn't be was true now, and for some reason, it felt too good. If I were a cat, I would be purring like crazy and if I were her dog, my tail would be frantically wagging out of happiness and content.

I felt a gentle tug on my shoulder and, without a second thought, I followed it and turned on my back. I hissed with pain as the pressure of my body weight on the futon hit my back. A warm hand landed on my lower abdomen and instantly started to draw soothing circles into my skin. My muscles relaxed again. I felt Fujino-sama's gentle touch on my legs. She first nursed the wounds there, then she turned her attention to my tights and lower abdomen. A shudder ran through my body with a wave of arousal. I bit my lip and clenched the soft fabric I was laying on in my palms.

I could name one of the feelings she was evoking in me. It was desire. I desired her touch, her warmth, her sweet voice, her intense gaze. I desired all of her. It was wrong of me to feel that way, but I couldn't control it. She was just… just too perfect for me to not want her.

I hissed in pain when something pierced through the skin of the lower part my right side, where a deep cut was. The warm hand on my lower abdomen disappeared and her fingers gently touched the skin near my wound.

"Just hold still. I'll sew the wound as fast and as good as I can, but it'll leave a mark," she said quietly. I had to bite back a moan of pain and keep my body from wincing when the piercing came again.

"Where-… where did you l-learn how to sew wounds?" I asked. I gripped the futon under me tightly, my knuckles went white and a wave of dull pain washed over my hands.

"I did it a lot when my father was still alive. He used to get into a lot of fights, but he refused to see the doctor and he only trusted his own blood. That meant only I could sew his wounds. It had been difficult at the beginning, but I've got a hold of it," she explained. While listening to her voice, I didn't pay attention to the needle that repeatedly pierced my skin.

"Do you think Mai and the others will be able to get the bodies out of here and clean the mess? I should help them…" I muttered after all the worse cuts had been sewed, shifting so I could get up. Two hands grasped my shoulders and held me down and a pair of crimson eyes stared into mine. My breath hitched in my throat and all the thoughts of helping the others left my mind. I wanted to stay. I needed to. I needed to be close to her, to protect her from anything that could happen. There is no way I can leave her side.

"Ara, would Kuga like to go somewhere? Is he uncomfortable because I am taking care of him again?"

"I-…" I cursed under my breath. Just a few moments before, I've killed five men and now, I can't utter a word while looking into her wine-colored eyes. And I call myself a guard? I call myself a child of the Kuga family?

"Don't," she whispered and I stopped thinking all together. I got lost in the crimson color of her deep, lovely eyes. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't control my body, I couldn't do anything apart from looking into those gorgeous, shining eyes. When I finally got a hold of myself, my face was just a few inches away from hers. Her breath tickled my face and slightly opened lips, my eyes were half-closed. What was I about to do? Why did I want to be close to her, hold her and keep her safe?

"Y-You need to rest, Fujino-sama," I said, trying to think through the shock. This was wrong, this was very, very wrong. But I wasn't sure, if the wrong thing was that I did want to kiss her, or that I didn't do it. I shifted again and this time, she let go of me. I quickly stood up, ignoring the pain in my body and took a step backwards. "If you'll excuse me, I will leave you alone, so you can go back to sleep."

I didn't wait for her to say anything, I just ran off. I knew it's rude to leave without a permission, but I couldn't help it. I wanted to be as far away from her as possible. And yet, as soon as I left her, I missed the warmth of her presence.

I was surprised to see that the corridor in front of Fujino-sama's room was already clean. How did the girls do it, I'll never know.

The pain returned when I got to my room. I opened the window to let the night air cool my hot skin a bit. I lied down on my futon, though I felt as if every single one of my bones was broken. The wounds hurt and the bruises ached bluntly. I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep. I just lied there, looking into the ceiling, my thoughts wandering. I thought about the feelings Fujino-sama emits in me; the warmth that seeps through my whole body, the desire that burns its way into my thinking and the want to be completely sincere. I didn't know why I did feel this way, why there were so many feelings I couldn't name. I didn't know how she could make me feel like this.

Why did I let myself to get hurt just because of her? Why did I stand up for her back then, in the alley? It seemed as if years had passed since then. I felt like I've been here, with Fujino-sama, for eternity. Even though I had that feeling, I was aware that I didn't know her yet, although I wanted to.

Wanted to? Why…?

"Why would I want to know her?" I asked myself quietly. "Why it isn't enough for me that she gives me a place to stay through the winter?"

"I don't, know, but let me think. What about, hmm… because you love her, pup!"

I sat up, instantly drawing out my sword and pointing it in the direction of the voice, my gaze turned to the window. There, in the opened window, sat a girl with shoulder-length, red hair, eyes green like leafs of a cherry-tree and smug smirk on her face. She was thin and although she was curled up into a ball on the window, I knew she was shorter than me. I knew the gaze she was sending in my direction and the smirk on her face was way too familiar.

"What are you doing here, Nao?" I asked with my right eyebrow raised and my sword still pointing at her.

"Currently sitting on the window frame, as you can see," the girl smirked at me with confidence and amusement.

"You know what I meant."

"Do I?" she asked, bringing her finger up to her lips, as if she was thinking hard about it. "I should, since we know each other for… for what, seventeen years?"

"It would be twenty already, if you had agreed to go with me back then," I remarked. Nao was my friend since she was born, twenty years ago, to one of the maids in our house. My father was cruel sometimes, but he would never kick a woman, especially with a baby out of his house, so he let them both stay. Although Nao and I were like a cat and a dog, somehow we managed to survive each other's company and, eventually, formed a strong friendship. We had been arguing as if our lives had depended on it, but if something had been to happen to one of us, the other had been there to help her. I knew she had been there when our village got attacked and I knew she had been trying to help my father. She had seen his death. After that, she had gone to the village to find me kneeling on the ground. It was her who had convinced me to lead the people left from the village to another small town. I hadn't wanted to go, now without my sister, but she had managed to make me stand up and be the leader I was born to be. How she had did it, I will never know.

"Ah, yes, the painful past… I thought you had forgotten about it, Kuga," she smirked. She shifted a bit, then she jumped off of the window and into the room, quietly as a cat. She was always like that, hiding up in trees and walking so quietly there wasn't even the slightest possibility to hear her. She was trained to be an assassin, fighting with throwing daggers and with the ability to hide in shadows; there wasn't anyone better than her in quiet killing.

"I tried to," I admitted and let the hand with the sword land on the floor next to me.

"But?" she asked with one of her eyebrows raised.

"What do you mean 'but'?"

"There is always a 'but' when you use that tone of voice. And I want to hear it."

I shrugged, watching as she came closer. She sat down on my futon and looked me up and down. "Man, you look like you haven't been eating for days. I know I've been telling this to you a lot, but now it's honest, you look like a shit, pup."

"Yeah, thanks," I muttered, shooting her a sarcastic glare.

"But seriously now, Natsuki. What had happened to you? Why did you stop looking for Nina?"

I looked somewhere into distance, not really caring about what was around me. I searched my memory for the last time she had called me Natsuki. I was always 'pup' for her, or 'dog'. It was kind of weird to hear someone call me by my given name, especially when that someone was her.

"Why are you smiling like that?"

"I just… I just tried to remember when the last time you had called me by my name was," I admitted with a small, nostalgic smile.

"Oh, I don't know… About five seconds ago?" she smirked, punching me slightly into arm, evoking a weak wave of pain that went through my body.

"And when was the last time you weren't a sarcastic bitch?" I returned the smirk.

"When I couldn't talk."

"Oh, no, Nao, you've been a bitch even then," I smirked at her and she returned the smirk. "So, what are you doing here? Why weren't you with other maids down in the kitchen? Why didn't I see you somewhere around before tonight?"

"Because," she started with a threading sparkle in her eyes, "I am not a maid. I am not a servant. Never was, never will be."

That's right, she was never a servant. She was an assassin when we lived in Nitta, her job was to protect the mansion from spies and unwanted visitors. If she hadn't changed, which she hadn't, she was something like that here, too. She wanted her freedom way too much to be an ordinary servant, and she was too proud for it, she had probably gained that one from me.

"Then what do you do? I know Fujino-sama is a good person, but I don't think she would let you just be here."

"Oh, she would. She lets anyone who doesn't have a home and who she think of as worthy stay in her house for free. I don't know why she does it, but she does."

"Okay, so she would let you stay. But you wouldn't stay in here just like that as I know you. So what do you do?"

Nao smirked that smug, cat-like smirk of hers and licked her point-finger. "They call me 'the cat'. And my job is to kill the birds."

"So you're practically killing the spies," I muttered.

"My way of saying it sounds better, but you're right. I kill everyone who wants to spy on Fujino-sama. I started with it when she had let the door to the stables opened one rainy night, after she had found out I was around here. I had rejected her when she had offered me to stay in the house. She hadn't pursued me. But one night, when it was raining, I found the door to the stables slightly opened, a pile of hay was nicely gathered in one corner and in front of it was a plate with food. From then, I found it like that every morning and every night. She was leaving the food and the warm hay-bed there for me."

"And you are being 'the cat' because…?"

"I might not look like it, but I'm not stupid, pup. I know that if someone took Fujino-sama away, that someone being Kanzaki, I wouldn't have a roof above my head and warm food three times a day. So I decided to do what I was trained to do. I started killing spies and watching over the house."

I frowned at that. "You watch over the manor?"

"Of course I do," she said proudly.

"Did you notice anyone coming in tonight?"

It was her turn to frown. "No," she said eventually. "I didn't see anything."

"Then it really was as I thought. We have a traitor in here."

* * *

**It just isn't a Shiz/Nat story without Nao, is it? I can assure you that Natsuki and Nao had only been friends, they had never been romantically involved with each other, or anyone else for that matter. I just like Nao's character. She is a sarcastic bitch and I absolutely love that about her! **

**So, don't forget to let me know what you think! **


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey, guys! **

**I'm sorry, this is going to be a really short one! But honestly, I didn't know what else to write in here. I'm also sorry there won't be any Shiz/Nat interaction in here, but the storyline required it (so, please, don't bite my head off, it will be really difficult to write without one on my neck! :D). So, let me know what you think! **

**And, by the way, this is for the guest '****Me': I know what the word 'mutt' means and it goes into the story, because of the relationship between Nao and Natsuki, and because of Nao's character. But I did change it, so it won't be used in this story again. **

**Now, even though it's really short, enjoy!**

* * *

Already a week had passed since the night attack on the mansion and I took patrols every single night since then. Nao promised me to be patrolling outside the mansion, as did Akira. Sometimes, I saw the ninja-girl in the shadows, mostly near her and Takumi's room, or the red-haired cat-girl in the trees. I never saw a footprint in the snow that was now covering the ground, which meant that Nao didn't forget anything she had learnt.

I was grateful for their help. With them around, I didn't have to worry about the servants in the house and I could focus on protecting Fujino-sama. That has, however, proved as a difficult task, because since the attack, she decided she wants me with her almost always. Whenever she left her room, I had to be there. It wasn't that I wouldn't do it even if she didn't ask me to, but it gave me a very small amount of time to train and to find out who the traitor was.

Of course, there were people that I didn't like, but they all were bounded to Fujino-sama, because she helped them somehow. And then, there were those I didn't think of as traitors. I couldn't tell with certainty who was trustworthy and who wasn't. The only thing I knew was that Nao wouldn't do such a thing, she was way too lazy and selfish to just go and help someone who didn't do anything for her. But the others…I didn't know them. Although none of them seemed like a possible traitor, there is a thin line between friend and the enemy.

There were also other things that had me worried. Mai, Mikoto, Chie, Aoi, Takumi and Akira saw me killing. And yet, they all were thankful. Yes, I did save Fujino-sama, but they should fear me. They didn't. They were just themselves around me.

We were sitting in the kitchen together, Chie was flirting with Aoi, who was now holding a blue rose, a gift from her girlfriend. Mai was cooking and humming softly, Mikoto was eating as if she hadn't been eating for days and Takumi and Akira were sitting together, laughing and fooling around. They weren't afraid. They trusted that the newcomer who they didn't even know and who was capable of killing wouldn't hurt them. How more foolish could they be? I didn't intent on hurting them, but someone could. And apparently, someone did, because someone had let the men into the house a week ago.

I had watched all of them closely the whole week. Mai was too good-hearted to betray Fujino-sama, just like her brother was. Mikoto, though she was quite fun to be around, was too young and wasn't smart enough to come up with a plan to give the information to Kanzaki's men. Chie had the wit, but she wouldn't do something she knew Aoi wouldn't approve of and the brunette was too peaceful and loving to want to hurt Fujino-sama or anyone else, for that matter. Akira was the same as Chie, expect she didn't want to hurt Takumi, so she was, too, out of the question.

Of course, there were many others, which I didn't know, men who worked in the stables. And there was Takeda. I've never liked that guy, but that didn't make him a wrong person. I wasn't sure if he was capable of betraying Fujino-sama and I didn't want to make a wrong prejudge just because he was a damned, obsessed stalker. Of course, everyone said they would never do such a thing, that they loved Fujino-sama. But somewhere amongst them was the one who did let the black-clad men into the house and told them where to go. And I needed to find that someone.

"What are you thinking about, Kuga?"

I looked up, just to see now empty kitchen. Only Akira sat next to me. She was now looking into my face with a serious expression and a curious spark in her eyes.

"The attack," I answered shortly. I didn't know how to speak to her, I couldn't tell what she thought of my words or the tone of voice. She had the same stone-like expression I was trying to put up. Talking to her was like talking to my reflection in water. "I'm thinking about who would have let them in. I don't know people around here but… someone must be the traitor."

"The men in the stables say that it was you," Akira said quietly. "They say we shouldn't trust you. They think you work for Kanzaki."

I looked at her with my right eyebrow quirked. She had the same stone-like expression I wore on my face and it annoyed the hell out of me. I was used to reading people by their expression, but she was like a letter written in some foreign language.

"And what do you think?"

"Well, I think you are a pretty good guy. If Fujino-sama trusts you, so do I and I am not the only one," she said, looking right into my eyes. "Besides, what good would it do for you to let Kanzaki's men in and then kill almost all of them? It doesn't make any sense. And, you are a northerner, they are known to be very proud and honorable people. I don't suppose you see something like betraying the woman who gives you food, clothes, roof above your head and money as a deed worthy of honor."

"Hmm," I muttered, nodding my head. Although I didn't know anything about her, she apparently knew a thing or two about me, probably from Mai and her little brother. "You are right about northerners being proud and honorable. But… I don't see myself as such."

"Many don't. But, let me tell you something…," she leaned a bit closer to me. "…actions speak louder than words. I know that, and I know Fujino-sama knows, too. She trusts you and so do I."

"That's a foolish decision, of both of you," I remarked.

"Maybe it is," she frowned a bit, as if she was considering my words and her own answer to them. "But I'd much rather trust you than Takeda, although you are a complete stranger. I don't like the guy. And I'm sure you don't either. Watch out for him and tell the cat to keep an eye on him, too. I know I will." With that, she left the room.

I just watched the door slide closed. I didn't know if she was right about Takeda or not. I didn't like the guy since he first proclaimed his love for me, but I didn't want to judge him just because my dislike towards him. It wouldn't be fair if I did that.

And then, there was something else that bothered the hell out of me. My feelings towards Fujino-sama. I didn't know what they were. They were strange, completely new to me and I didn't know how to handle them. Nao said it was love and that I needed to take it easy, to see if there is some attraction on her part, but I'm not sure if I should believe her. I've never felt love, so I can't tell if she is right or not, but… I had my doubts. And the fact that Fujino-sama required my presence almost always wasn't helping the matter, either.

I didn't realize that I actually got up from my seat and left the kitchen while thinking. I got out of the sea of thoughts in my head when cold air caressed my face. I shuddered and looked around, finding myself in the garden. Warm clothes and boots protected me form the coldness, but my face was unprotected. I used to cover it with my hair when I had been traveling, but now, my hair was tied up on the back of my head, so I couldn't use them as a shield from the cold.

I slowly walked over to the centre of the garden, to the bench under a cherry-tree. I remembered how she sat there, with the cup of green-tea in her hands, looking so beautiful and calm. She was… perfect, in every way. She had the kindness of easterners, passion and temperament of southerners, beauty of westerners and calmness of northerners. She was the most interesting being I've ever met. And I wanted to know as much about her as I possibly could.


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey guys! **

**Sorry for the mistakes and sentences that may not make much sense in this chapter, but I was writing this with a small amount of blood in alcohol in my system, if you know what I mean :D (Basically, I was drunk when I was writing this) So I might not be making much sense right now… well, sorry about that! **

**Yeah, well, I didn't like how the last chapter ended up, so, here's the next one! Hope you'll like it guys. And, the rating changed, because of this chapter, but mainly because the the next one. So, I guess the good thing is you have something to look forward to. But the bad thing is that I don't know when I'll update the next time. **

**Well, anyway, let me know what you think! Enjoy! **

* * *

Apparently, Fujino-sama was really worried about her own safety. She always required my company when she went out of her room, and it didn't matter if she was going out of the house or into the kitchen. That's how I found myself standing in the big bathroom filled with white steam and heat from water. Of course, I was worried about her too, I mean, who wouldn't be with some sick weirdo like Kanzaki somewhere out there, ready to kidnap her when the opportunity arises? But that wasn't a reason for me to be in the bath with her, was it?

If I were a real guy, she would never do something like that, I was sure of it. But I was an eunuch in her eyes, so it was alright, right?

Right.

Wait, right?

No, no, no, no, no, NO! This was wrong! Way too wrong! And not just because she thought I was a man. It was wrong because, although I was actually a woman, my body reacted to her in ways it had never reacted to anyone before.

A sound of quiet tapping of bare feet on the floor made me forget about my thoughts for a moment. Suddenly, thinking of how wrong this was wasn't important enough. The scent of lavender and vanilla mixed with the warm, moist air and the steam, making every one of my thoughts just disappear. I knew she was there, behind me, as the soft sound of clothes being taken off of her body filled the room. That's when I realized that she needs to be naked in that bathtub.

I felt my cheeks grow hot and, for some unknown reason, my body followed suit. I fixed my gaze straight forward, onto the wall. I was determinant to not look at her at all, though the thought was very, very tempting. To see her naked body, glistering in the light of candles with drops of water from the bath on her skin… I felt wetness between my legs, and it wasn't from the steam in the room.

I heard the gentle tapping again, and then the sound of gently splashing water filled the room. The image of her, naked and beautiful, stepping into the big bathtub, with her hips moving slowly and sensually, and her body just for me to see filled my mind. I had a hard time shifting my thoughts to Kanzaki and the traitor that was under this roof.

I heard her wash herself, the water around her was emitting gentle noises. It was hard for me to breathe, and not just because the air was warmer than I was used to. And then…

"Kuga? Could you come here, please?"

Turning around, I cursed under my breath. Seeing her naked was the only thing I wanted and didn't want at the same time. I wasn't sure how I will react, what I'll do or what should I do. I was completely and utterly confused, by my own feelings and by her behavior.

I walked to the edge of the tub, few feet away from her. I didn't dare to look down at her. Looking at my feet I knelt down. "Yes, my lady?"

She turned to me, her hand shot up and touched the sheath of my sword. She looked at it, then she dragged her gaze up until I felt it on my cheek. Her hand moved up slowly, gently, and I couldn't keep the image of how that touch would feel on my naked skin out of my mind.

"Take that belt off, those swords must be very heavy and uncomfortable," she said quietly, her voice reminded me of warm honey. It was gentle and sensual, slowly warping itself around me like a warm blanket. I knew that one stare into her eyes was enough to make me do whatever she asked of me, but the fact that my body reacted the same way to her voice was a surprise. I didn't even know how I managed to unclasp my belt and let it fall on the ground. I noticed her hand grasping one of the sheaths and dragging my belt and the swords away.

"My lady-…"

"I wanted to ask you a few questions, if you don't mind," she cut me off, her warm, wet hand traveled from my swords to my leg. I had to bite my lower lip to keep myself from looking at her, or better yet, fleeing. "That's why you are here, actually. Well? May I?"

"I-I-…" I started, searching for words of denial. What if she asks something I won't be able to answer? What if she finds out? What if I tell her? There were too many dangerous 'what ifs'. But the words I wanted to say turned into something completely different once they reached my tongue. "Of course, my lady."

"Good. But first, look at me," she asked quietly, her hand slowly moving from my thigh to my hip. I lifted my head a bit, just to see her face. I didn't want to look into her eyes, I didn't want to be vulnerable around her, I didn't want to feel naked. But my eyes decided to not to listen, because they immediately found the wine-colored irises of the goddess. She was smiling, I could say that. The corners of her lips were turned upwards in a gentle smile that made my cheeks grow warm. "You know… you are petty, even for an eunuch. Your body doesn't look like a body of a man. Your skin is soft and pale, your hair is smooth and silk-like… why?"

"I'm a Moon Shadow…," I said the first lie that came to my mind. I don't know how I managed to do it, how I managed to tell something other than truth while looking into her eyes. My whole being screamed at me to just tell her the truth about Kuga Natsuki. But I couldn't. When this winter ends, Kuga will be gone from here and she'll forget all about him. "…a boy who was castrated before puberty. My body lacked the hormones and so it didn't grow to be a man's body. I've never used a Solar drug to gain muscles and manly figure. That's probably why…"

"Ara…," she muttered, still looking into my eyes. I felt her fingers slowly moving upwards, they tickled me on my side even through the tunic. I felt the sweat run down my back. It was hot there in my thick, woolen tunic, with the hot water of the bathtub and her fingers dangerously slowly, lazily and gently caressing my skin through the fabric. "That explains it. Now another question. I know people don't go and become mercenaries just because fighting is the only thing they know. They can learn other things. You didn't. Instead, you became a traveler and then a mercenary. I want to know what the real reason for your action was."

"Kuga family had two daughters. Young lady Natsuki and her younger, little sister, Nina. The younger one was born just half a year before the attack. Lady Natsuki died when she tried to save her sister, but the younger lady was taken away by the soldiers. I wanted to find her. But now, I think she is gone, for good. I've traveled almost the whole realm up and down, there isn't a trace of her, nowhere. I have failed…"

"Shhh, Kuga haven't failed anyone. You saved my life, two times already," she smiled a bit wider, the hand that had been traveling up my body suddenly gripped my chin and made me look right at her. I couldn't move my head, even if I wanted to. "I promise you, I'll help you find Nina. And once we find her, you can both live here, with me."

Her eyes shone with honesty when she said those words. I couldn't bring myself to say anything, to do anything, just stare at her. I knew I would never be able to stay there, not as Kuga, not as the mercenary I was. But… maybe Nina… maybe I had found a new home for my little sister. Maybe Fujino-sama could bring her up as a member of Fujino family, maybe Nina had a bright future ahead of her. If she is alive, I'll find her. Now, that I have a place for her to stay, I will find her. After the winter ends.

"Thank you. Is there anything else you would like to ask me, my lady?" I asked after a while of just staring into her eyes.

The gentle smile on her face turned into a mischievous one. She brought my face closer to hers, so I could feel the heat of water and her breath on my face. Out of the corner of my eye I could see the silhouette of her body, her full breasts and the flawlessness of her soft, slightly tanned skin. "Well, now that you mention it… I would like to ask you if you could bring me a towel. Please?"

For a while, I just stared at her, dumbstruck. It took me long enough to process what exactly she wanted from me. When I managed to understand her request, I stood up and walked to one of the shelves on the wall. I took two towels from there, one so she could dry herself and the other for her to warp herself into. I turned around and took few steps forwards, looking at the towels, but a sounds of gentle taps of bare feet on the floor and the drops, that slowly fell down on the floor made me look up and stop dead in my tracks.

She stood there, in all her naked glory; her slightly tanned skin glistered in the drops of water and the light of candles that were all around the room. The now light steam that wriggled around the room in slow movements drew beautiful ornaments around her, bringing up her full breasts, flat stomach and firm legs. The way I imagined her couldn't compare to this. She was beautiful in my mind, but now, that I was actually staring at her, she was the most gorgeous being in this world or any other. I doubted there was someone who could be more beautiful than she was.

I took my time to look her up and down, trying, subconsciously of course, to remember every detail of her body. She just stood there, patient, looking at me. And when my eyes met hers, I forgot to breath. I clenched on the towels in my hands, looking into the red color of her eyes, which now seemed even darker than a bottle of the finest wine. A memory of how she had looked like, standing in the doorway to her room, with those red eyes wide opened and blood rushing on to floor to mark her feet… She had looked so innocent, so weak and fragile.

The woman from the memory surely couldn't be the woman that was now standing in front of me. Because now, Fujino-sama looked… powerful. Strong. Confident. And sexy as hell. I had the feeling that those two couldn't be the same person, that there had to be two Fujino-samas, one fragile and innocent, the other one powerful and confident. But looking into her eyes had the same effect on me as always. I couldn't breathe, couldn't concentrate on anything around me. There was nothing expect of her, my whole world consisted only of her and her slinky eyes.

The scent of lavender and vanilla in the air thick with warmth and humidity, so alluring and seductive, warped around me, made all my senses shut down. I became a beast, an animal that was willing to do anything to please its master. And my master was the red-eyed goddess standing in front of me.

"You can touch me, if you want," she whispered.

I felt my cheeks burning, the world around me came crashing back to me. I didn't know how or when I did it, but I was standing close to her, too close. My right arm was halfway to her body, shaking slightly. I looked at the tips of my fingers, burning with need to feel her pale, soft skin against them. My gaze then went to her left side, the spot where my hand had been heading to just seconds ago. And then, slowly, I looked up, to her breasts with pink nipples like pebbles, hardened and waiting for attention; to her long neck that just begged to be licked and bitten gently; to her full, pink lips that looked soft and so kissable that my own lips started to tingle with desire; to her dark-red eyes, full of something I couldn't quite put my finger on.

"I-…" I tried to speak, my voice hoarse, low and husky. Even I was surprised by the tone of my voice. It sounded almost… aroused. I could feel my already moist groin grow even wetter, my knees started to shake. "I-I'll wait for you outside!"

With that I let the towels fall on the floor and left the room faster than I thought was possible, before I could change my mind and rape her right then and there.


	14. Chapter 14

**Hey, guys! **

**Well, here's another chapter. Uhm, I don't know what to say about this one. I guess I'll leave the talking about this chapter to you then, so let me know that you think!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_We are in my room. She is taking off my tunic, just like every time she tends my wounds. But this time, it doesn't stop at the bandages on my chest. Her warm, gentle hands caress the skin of my shoulders as she rises from the kneeling position, taking the tunic off completely. Her eyes, darker than the finest vine, bore into mine with passion, hunger and something that I'm not able to figure out. She smiles at me, slowly moving her palms down my skin; I feel her warm touch even through the bandages around my chest. And when she gets to the skin of my belly, her gaze still don't leaving mine, my breathing, now shallow and short, stops altogether. _

_I feel her touch against my skin; the warm, gentle caresses are sending shivers of arousal down my spine, right in between my thighs. She is still looking into my eyes when her hands slowly trace the skin of my hips and go to my back, where they decide to slowly move up and down my skin, every time going just a little bit farther upwards, then back to my lower back. I've never known that my lower back was so sensitive to the touch. Every time her hands caress the skin there, it sends shivers up my spine and arousal through my body. That is definitely bad. Or it is very, very good, that depends on the point of view. _

_My heart skips a beat when her hands reach the bandages. She is moving her hands slowly on the fabric, touching every inch of it, as if trying to find something. When she finally does, a half-smile/half smirk curves her lips upwards. Her hands are playing with the knot of bandages that holds the last protection of my identity on my body. I have plenty of time to stop her. I just don't want to._

_I stare right into her eyes when her fingers, long and slim, untie the knot. She stares right back at me with question in her eyes. I don't nod my head, but I don't stop her, either. I'm not entirely sure I want her to know. But the heat of my skin, the gentleness of her touch, the care in her eyes and the beast created of pure lust deep inside of me, roaring, wanting, make me want her to continue. _

_I should stop her. I should stop the hands that are now gently taking the bandages off of my body. I shouldn't allow this. But I've never been the one who did what she should and as I knew her, neither was Fujino-sama. _

_Her eyes are dangerously close. When did they get this close? When did her face get this close? I open my mouth to ask her, but I manage to only take a breath before her eyes close and our lips meet. My eyes close as well, my tongue goes out of my mouth on instinct. The kiss is slow, yet wild, gentle and rough at the same time, passionate, loving, almost frustrated. It is everything. It is perfect. _

_I can't keep in the small sound when she touches the bare skin on my chest. When did she manage to take off the bandages? But that doesn't matter, as long as her hands are touching me. The feeling of her gentle touches clouds up my mind, so I cannot think at all. I can just feel._

_She gently pushes me backwards and I follow her lead. She pushes me down, onto the futon, quickly taking off my pants and underpants. And before I know it, I'm in front of her completely naked. She looks me up and down with those beautiful, dark-red orbs and I feel just like the first time she had looked me in the eyes. I feel as if I was there just for her to see, with every single one of my secrets written on my skin, so she could read them. _

_But she doesn't. Instead, she slowly, seductively kneels down, straddling my hips, so I can't move, even if I wanted to. She leans down, pressing her lips against mine, her tongue capturing mine in a slow but passionate dance. I feel her hands all over my body, on my shoulders, breasts, scratching my back, caressing between my legs…_

_I have to grip the futon under me to keep myself from rolling us around and taking her. I almost rip the fabric of the futon, when she straightens up, her eyes gaze down at me with somewhat noble and commanding, yet soft, gentle and sexy look. _

"_You can touch me if you want, Natsuki." _

I jolted up, the covers of the futon falling from my body. My breathing was fast and shallow, my gaze shifting from one place to other, taking in my surroundings as quickly as it could. It was the dead of the night; I was in my room, alone, and it was incredibly hot there. The window was closed, door was too, there was almost no light in there and the air was too thick for my liking. It took me a while to fully understand that the thing that happened was all just a dream in my own, probably sick and perverse, mind.

I got up and walked to the window, making sure I was clothed enough, even though it was the dead of the night. I opened the window, poking my face out, letting the cold, night, winter air cool my burning cheeks. The moon was shining brightly on the white snow, making it glow beautifully. Maybe Fujino-sama's skin would glow more brightly in the moonlight…

I shook my head almost violently. I shouldn't be thinking like this! It was wrong! So why couldn't I stop thinking about that when I knew how wrong it was? Even if I would decide to act on my feelings, why would she ever considered me as a good partner? I had nothing to offer her! She was a Lady, she was Fujino-sama. I was no-one now that my village was destroyed and my family killed. I had no place in this world anymore, I was just a tramp. I had no position in the society anymore, I wasn't the lady I had used to be, I wasn't Kuga Natsuki. I had nothing to give her. Not to mention the fact that I was actually a girl. She would never love me.

I will stay here until the winter ends and then I'll be on my way. I'll make sure that Kuga will never come back to this place, ever again. I had to protect myself from her and the feelings I had, even though I didn't know what they were. It was way too complicated. Those feelings came out of blue, unexpectedly. Not even Nao would be able to come somewhere as surprisingly as my attraction to Fujino-sama came.

It was very surprising, to say at least. I've never had any interest in love, I've never liked anyone, men or women. It was true that no-one of them had eyes like the finest vine and lips that looked softer than rose petals…

But the thing that surprised me the most was the name she had used in my dream. I didn't know why I would dream of her knowing my true identity. It was true that I didn't want to lie to her and that the half-truths I had to come up with were more truths than lies, but… I still didn't know why I would want her of all people to know. What reason there was? Wasn't it enough for me that Nao knew already?

I groaned quietly, burying my face in my hands. Why couldn't have I just declined her when she offered me the position of her guard? Why couldn't I just go away? Why did I had to fall for her eyes so badly? Now I'm in too deep and there is no way back. I guess the Cat was right. I guess I really am in love with Fujino-sama.

I slowly lifted my face from the hollow in my palms and looked around. The snow was really beautiful, glowing on the moonlight with almost blue light. And in that light, there was a quickly moving shadow. I frowned as I watched the figure walk as fast as it could through the garden. It wasn't Nao, this figure was higher and larger than her. It was a man. And judging by the way he walked, his steps were somewhat heavy and yet smooth, just like I would expect from a skilled fighter.

I growled quietly. Once the figure left my sight, I turned into the room and put on the rest of my clothes as well as the belt with my swords. I didn't put on the boots, so I could move through more quietly and surprise possible attackers.

I quickly left my room, sliding the door closed behind me. I had a very good idea of who was the man I saw and I had that weird feeling in my stomach. I ran through the corridors of the mansion, controlling every important place. First, I checked out the corridor where Fujino-sama's room was, then the kitchen, bathroom and then the corridor of the rooms that were occupied by the girls. When I was sure there wasn't any unwanted visitor, I slowly made my way back to the room of my lady.

On the way there, I heard silent steps. They were lighter than the steps I've heard the time of attempt to attack Fujino-sama and the frequency of the tapping was somewhat familiar. I slowly, silently drew one of my swords out of its sheath, gripping its handle in both hands, ready to strike. The steps were nearer and nearer.

I hit the person who came running from behind the corner with the back of my hand and sent them flying into the wall. When I heard the colorful language and the all too familiar voice, I knew instantly who I had hit. I can't say she didn't deserve it, though.

"What the fuck, pup?! Are you crazy?!"

"Be quiet, Nao!" I growled at her as quietly as I could, so I wouldn't wake the whole mansion up. "What are you doing here, anyway? I thought you never come into the house."

"She doesn't, when she doesn't have a reason to," another familiar, girl's voice sounded from the shadow. "I called her in here to help me. I've heard someone running around the house, I was afraid it would be some of Kanzaki's men again."

"Akira," I nodded my head, sliding the sword back into its sheath. "I didn't expect to see you here. When you heard someone running around, it was probably me. I saw someone sneaking through the garden, so I decided to check the house. But you were there, Nao, right? Have you seen anything?."

"Sorry, pup, I haven't seen anyone," Nao said almost lazily, but I could hear the worries in her voice. I shot her a warning glare. I didn't mind her calling me 'pup' but I knew it would raise a suspicion and I didn't want people in the manor to know that I knew Nao before I got here.

"I take it you two know each other," Akira muttered, piercing us both with a very curious and a bit amused gaze. I frowned at Nao and growled quietly at her, then I turned to Akira with the frown still firmly placed on my face.

"You can say that," I nodded. "But now's not the time. Nao, you go out there and search the garden, the stables and especially the dojo. Akira, I would be very thankful if you could check the manor again."

"And what about you, puppy?" Nao asked with that cat-like stubbornness and snappishness.

"I will be doing what I am here for and that's guarding Fujino-sama. I don't doubt Kanzaki is planning something and I'm not going to make things easy for him."

"Do you have any idea of what he could be planning?" Akira asked in low, calm voice and with a thoughtful expression on her face.

I sighed and gripped the handles of my swords tightly in my palms just for the feeling of assurance the leather and the steel gave me. "I don't have a clue, but I think Takeda knows something, since he was the one I saw in the garden."


	15. Chapter 15

**Hey again, guys! **

**Thanks for all the reviews and for sticking up with this story! You really are the best, guys!**

**Well, chapter 15! I didn't think it will get this far, to be honest. But it did and I am kind of happy for that. But there are two things I'm sorry for. First: it's a little short and second: there is something that will happen in this chapter that you might not like, so once you get to it, please, don't kill me (it will be very difficult to finish this story while dead, so…)**

**Anyways, enjoy! **

* * *

"How are you feeling?" she asked quietly. I closed my eyes as her soft fingers gently touched the wound at my right side. She was pulling out the stitches from my nearly healed wounds. The ointment really did miracles to my skin, I didn't expect the wounds to get better this quickly. The wounds weren't healed yet, but I could at least hold both of my swords in my hands now. If it wasn't for the ointment and Fujino-sama's attention, I would still be hurting too much to actually move and the wounds would be, probably, ignited by now.

"I-I'm good," I said quietly. Normally, I would enjoy her touch, but not now and it wasn't just because of what happened in the bath three days ago or because of the dream I had that night and every night after. I couldn't enjoy her touch because there was something worrying me, something different than the feelings I held for her. Something that sent painful spasms into my abdomen and red blood flowing out of me, but not through any of my wounds. I was on my period.

"Ara, really? You seem a bit tense…" she said quietly with a frown on her face. I was looking at her hands, trying to keep still, lying on my back. It proved as a difficult task, with her hands on the sensitive skin of my abdomen and with the fear that my pants will get soaked with my blood constantly in the back of my head.

I prayed for the next three days to pass by as soon as possible. Nao was, surprisingly, being a true friend, she brought me clean fabrics, so the blood won't soak my tunic, she watched out for everyone who would want to come close to me, since I wanted to be alone. But the most surprising was Fujino-sama. Although I told her I needed to be alone for some time, I came up with a lame excuse of getting sick, she refused to respect it. She decided that she will be bringing me food into my room and instead of requiring my presence with her in the mansion, she stayed with me.

And so we had already spent two days in my room, talking, getting to know each other. I had learned that she had grown up only with her father, because her mother had died while giving birth to Fujino-sama's twin brothers. Unfortunately, that day three people had died. I had learned that she loved the colors blue and green, but she had to put up with violet, since it was her family's color. I had learned that she loved the scent of lavender and that in summer, she would often go out, behind the mansion, where was a huge field of lavender. I had learned she had never been in love with anyone, though there were many men, and some women, trying to get her attention.

This was my third day with her. It was noon, the plate with food was lying on the chest, where my tunics were neatly folded and she was taking care of me, again. I had to remind myself to stay focused on her and her words. It was easy to drown myself in memories of how her honey-like voice sounded carefree and happy, just talking about whatever she wanted.

"I'm fine, really," I said, this time with more confidence in my voice.

She smiled, crooking her head to the right slightly. Her fingers now laid on the skin of my hip-bone, drawing circles into it; her eyes slowly traveled up my body, taking in every inch of me, until they finally reached my eyes. The familiar feeling of empty mind crept into me and I knew that my breathing had stopped. Her eyes were full of something, something warm and tender, something I wanted to explore.

I felt her other hand slowly find its way into my hair, tied up in a ribbon behind my head. Her fingers loosened the ribbon and took it off of my hair, letting the midnight tresses spreaded on the futon. Then, her hand came back, interweaving with the strands of my hair. She gently pulled on them, not strongly enough for it to hurt but strongly enough for it to sent shivers down my spine. I felt the, now familiar, knots in my belly and it wasn't from my period. It was arousal. She was turning me on.

"I remember times when your speech was full of respect and wariness, as if you were speaking to a saint or a spirit," she remarked quietly. It wasn't a reproof; there wasn't a trace of anger or dissatisfaction in her voice. The hand on my hip was still drawing some shapes into my skin and the hand in my hair was still tugging gently, lightly scratching the skin on the back of my head here and there. If I was a dog, my tail would be wagging like crazy. "I like it better now. It's more sincere and softer than I remember it. It's more like you."

I bit my lip, turning on my side so I was facing her knees, making her brake the contact between us. How could I keep on lying to her when she was being so nice to me? How could I not tell her the truth when she wanted nothing else from me? How could I hide myself from her when she let me see and know all of her? How could I keep on pretending to be someone when the truth was that I was someone else?

Her hands found their way on my body again, one of them settled on my side, drawing circles and various shapes into my bare skin, the other one tangled up in my hair, playing with it. Did she enjoy the close contact between us as much as I did? Or was she doing it just because she thought the situation required it?

No, it couldn't be just that. There had been many times when she would just take the liberty of touching me. It had always been gentle and soft, always innocent. And yet, it had always left a warm feeling inside of me. When she was touching me, it felt… right.

I couldn't help nuzzling my face close to her legs. It was a cat-like movement, something I wasn't supposed to be doing. And yet, I did it, because I couldn't help it. I felt her hand in my hair tug on the tresses, to make my head lift. I followed her lead, lifting my head. With those gentle tugs, she brought it onto her lap. I nuzzled into her thighs and lower belly, enjoying the warmth and softness of her kimono. I wondered how it would feel if there wasn't that barrier between our bodies.

After I calmed down a bit, I turned to lie on my back with my head still in her lap. She was now using both of her hands to play with my hair, one of them was gently tugging at the strands of midnight tresses, the other gently scratching the spot right behind my right ear. I felt like I could melt into her touch every second.

The hand that had been scratching me came to rest on my cheek. "You know, Kuga-…"

"No," I cut her off quietly. I brought my hand to my face, to touch hers soft, warm one. I looked into her eyes, something I didn't do often out of my own, just to see the wine-colored eyes filled with that warm, gentle emotion staring right back at me. It was here. The moment of revelation. I will tell her who I really was. I will tell her that Kuga Natsuki was very much alive and very much in love with her.

"Ara? What is it?"

"I… I wanted to tell you that-…"

A loud knock on the door cut me off. Both of us turned to the sound, my hand instantly letting go of hers. I sat up on the futon, both of my hands went for search of my swords out of instinct. I quickly grabbed the handles and trying to ignore the feeling of cold that spreaded from my scalp to my whole body I stood up. But before I had a chance to walk to the door, Fujino-sama stood up and put her hand on my shoulder.

"Stay here, you're sick. There's nothing wrong, I'm sure of it."

She gently squeezed my shoulder and walked away with that gracefulness of a queen. She held her back straight and her head was high, just like I would expect for a member of a noble family.

When she left, I put the swords back into their sheaths and checked my tunic for traces of blood. I sighed with relief when I found nothing. I sat down on the futon, thinking. Why did I want to tell her? If it wasn't for the knock, she would have known by now. She would probably kick me out for lying to her, but for some reason it wasn't important. I felt as if my whole body wanted to kick my ass for not telling her. I knew I won't be able to tell her now. My courage faded away. Maybe it was because of the hormones that I wanted to tell her, maybe it wasn't even me. I didn't know…

After a while she returned, holding a letter in her hand. It had a broken signet on it, made of red wax, with a huge bird carrying a crown in its claws. The signet of His Highness The Sky Emperor. It sent restlessness through my body; the letter wasn't anything good.

"According to your expression I assume you know who this is from," she remarked calmly, sitting on the futon, right next to me, so our shoulders were touching.

I nodded my head, "I do, my Lady. But I don't know why His Highness would send you a letter."

"Ara, that question is easy to answer," she said quietly, showing me the letter. "His Highness wants me, as well as others heads of powerful families, to come to his palace in the city of Takara. There will be a meeting on the fourth day of the next week. He needs to discuss the threat of war with the lands of Atari. He has even asked for the presence of the Empress of Aries."

I frowned at the letter. Thanks to my mother and her patience when it came to teaching me all about politics of Namae as well as other empires, I knew everything I needed to know to understand this.

"This is serious," I said quietly. "I've never knew Grand Duke of Atari was interested in Namae. As far as I know, they suggested the pacification decades ago, when the army of Namae almost crushed them. And there never was any sign that they intended on breaking the contract. It doesn't make any sense, at least not in my head."

"Kuga is not the only one who doesn't understand this situation," she said quietly, sighing. "I don't understand either. That's another reason for me to go."

"You can't go alone! Kanzaki is going to be there, he might hurt you! I won't let that happen!" I growled out, my hand shot up and grabbed her wrist firmly. It was thin, I didn't have any problem with warping my fingers around it and squeezing it.

She looked into my eyes with shock. It made me forget all about the threat of war, the only thought that stayed in my head was that I needed to protect her from Kanzaki Reito. She didn't push me away, she didn't try to wriggle out of my grasp. The wine color of her eyes turned somewhat lighter with emotions I couldn't name.

"Ara, you really do care about me. And there I was, thinking that you didn't," she smiled, her free hand found its way on my fingers that held her hand captive. "I guess it really was the love at first sight that made you protect me back in the alley."

I felt my cheeks turn warm, I knew I was blushing. I remembered the conversation we had that day, in the stretcher. I knew she had been teasing me back then and that she was teasing me now, but that didn't change the fact that my face and neck turned as red as the crabs' shell. I wanted to let go of her wrist, to get as far away from her as possible, but she held my fingers right where they were.

"Don't worry. After all, Kuga is my strong, overprotective and cute guard, isn't he?" she chuckled, making me blush even more. "You are going there with me. But first, you need to get better. We'll go after that sickness of yours is cured."


	16. Chapter 16

**Hey, guys! **

**So, the chapter 16. I don't really know what to say about it, so… umm, I hope you'll like it! **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

I watched Mai almost dancing around the kitchen. She was preparing food for the three-days-long trip to the town of Takara. It was still hard to believe that Atarians would want to start a war with our country, mostly because we were far away. They would have to cross the Black Sea to get to us, since Namae was the only realm on the continent. Though, it is true that Atarians had a small colony on the north, just like the people of Aries had their small colony on the Sandy Shore on the south of the empire.

I had a suspicion that it were, actually, Atarians who had killed my family. It was typical for them to wear only leather armor, they relied mostly on the speed, not the defense. I've never fought Atarians, apart from that one night, but I've heard about them. My father used to tell me stories about many realms and their traditions, he wanted to get me ready to be the next Ruler of the North.

I gripped the handles of my swords tightly in my hands. We were supposed to leave this noon, so both I and Fujino-sama would have enough time to get ready. Though I trusted Fujino-sama, I needed to make sure that we had everything, that's why I decided to stay with Mai in the kitchen till the food is ready. I had woken up early in the morning and from the time I got up from the futon, I was running all around the mansion, making sure everything was ready.

I've already managed to help Takeda with the horses and have a small fight with him, which ended up with few new bruises on my body and few shallow cuts on his skin and clothing. Then I had helped Chie and Aoi with preparing the carriage, blankets and everything we'll need for the nights.

"Cheer up a little, Kuga," Mai smiled at me, still working her magic with food. "I'm sure it won't be anything horrible. With the help of Aries, everything will be just fine. You don't need to worry so much."

"To be honest with you, Mai, I'm not worried about the Atarians. Or, at least, not as worried as I probably should be," I admitted quietly. I looked down, onto the wooden floor, thinking of how much I could reveal to the carrot-head. "I'm more worried about Fujino-sama's safety. I understand that she wants both Nao and Akira in here, to watch over the manor, but I don't think it's wise to go on a trip like this one with just one guardian. What if I won't be able to protect her if something happens? I'm still not fully recovered, I am glad that I can hold swords in my hands! I'm not sure if I'll be able to fight if it came to that. It's just not wise of her to take only me with her, especially when I'm injured. It's a pure foolishness! It's madness! She should take someone other, one more person, so I wouldn't be alone to guard her-…"

"You really do care about her, don't you?" she cut me off with a knowing smile on her lips and sparkles in her eyes. I felt my cheeks turn red. A wave of heat rushed through my body and the more she stared at me, the redder I became, I could feel my skin burning with the blush.

"W-What do y-you mean by th-that?" I stuttered, trying to keep my voice firm and confident. I failed, though, and I felt my cheeks turn even redder at that. It reminded me of the first time I spoke to Fujino-sama. I hadn't been able to stop the blushing back then.

"I mean what I said. You care about her, it's written all over your face," she said, still smiling. "You are injured and you know that, but you wouldn't let her go without you. We would have to tie you up and lock you down to keep you from going with her. You worry about her safety too much. You have saved her, two times already and yet, you are still worried that you won't be able to keep her safe."

"It's my duty to keep her safe! That's why I'm here!" I growled. It was a threatening sound from the deep in my throat, which surprised even me.

"It is. But it hadn't been few weeks ago, right? And yet, you stood up for her. It's quite romantic, when I think of it…"

"Wha-?"

She took the pot away from the stow and turned fully to me, cocking her head to the right slightly. "Well, you have saved her life, she had let you stay here as her guard. You, apparently, have deep feelings for her, which go far beyond gratitude or an ordinary sympathy. And, if the amount of attention she gives you and the time she spends with you is anything to go by, she returns those feelings."

"I have no feelings for her!" I muttered with a frown firmly placed on my face.

"No, of course you don't! And you're blushing like a madman just because of the heat, I assume," she giggled, turning back to the pot. "But if you insist… I just hope you won't hurt yourself or Fujino-sama with this inability to admit your feelings."

I didn't know what to say to that. My mind just stopped working and the only thing I knew was that I wanted to get as far away from the kitchen as possible. And so, with a silent 'I need to take care of something' I ran out of the kitchen.

I didn't know where to go. I didn't have enough time to actually hide somewhere to think, I needed to be ready and reachable for when Fujino-sama decides to leave. But I neede to be alone for a while, to think.

I already knew about my feelings for Fujino-sama. Of course, I've never been in love, but the things I do when she is present, the fact that I can't think straight whenever she is around and the dreams I have been having for the past few days were clues enough even for me. I loved her and I knew it. But I wanted it to stay that way; I wanted nobody else to know. But if Mai knew… who else did?

Maybe even Fujino-sama had noticed! Oh, dear lord, let that not be true! If she knew…

But that would explain many things. She was always straight forward and she never even tried to hide the affectionate behavior towards me. Maybe she was just that caring, but a part of me wanted to think she was acting like that around me because she had been, too, struggling with her feelings towards me. But… even if she had some feeling for me, they weren't for _me. _If she was attracted to someone, she was attracted to Kuga, her cute guardian. She didn't have feelings for me, Kuga Natsuki.

When exactly did this happen? When exactly have I revived the lady form her grave in myself? When did I let the mask of the cool mercenary fall off?

"This is bad, this is so bad!" I muttered angrily. Burying my hands in my head, I looked up to look around. I was in the garden. The snow was softly creaking under my feet and the bare branches of the trees looked almost sad. That's when I noticed, for the first time, the tracks in the snow on the trees. I frowned at the cherry tree that was right in front of me. The tracks may be Nao's, but… something in me didn't agree with that.

"Hey, puppy," a smug voice sounded from somewhere behind me. "What are you doing here? Weren't you supposed to be by your love's side?"

"Shut up, Nao," I growled without turning around to look at her. I heard her legs make contact with the snow, I assumed she had jumped down from a tree.

"Why? You still haven't told her? Oh, c'mon! When are you going to give into her? It's not like she didn't give you enough hints! What else do you want? For her to come and tell you 'hey, just fuck me already, or I'll do it for you!', or what?"

"When I told you to shut up, I meant it!" I growled, this time turning to her. "What if she hears you?"

"So what? It would be finally out! And the only thing you would need to do is tell her the truth and you could be finally happy with your princess charming."

I shook my head. "You don't understand, do you? She can't find out! She would be disgusted by that!"

"You don't believe it yourself," she huffed, crossing her hands on her chest. "You can't keep your cool in here when you're with her. I wonder what you'll do when you'll be with her all alone on the road to Takara…"

"I won't do anything I'm not supposed to do. I'll be guarding her."

"Yeah, among other things," she smirked.

"Stop with that for now and look up there," I growled, pointing at the branches with the tracks in the snow on them. "I was wondering if those were yours."

Without a word she jumped onto the tree and started to examine the tracks. After a while she jumped back down, in front of me. There was a frown placed firmly on her face, as if she was disagreeing with something or thinking about something really hard.

"Well?" I asked, urging her to speak.

"Those aren't mine, pup," she said quietly, meeting my gaze with her almost worried one. "Those look like footprints of man. Probably just a small group of them, but…."

I frowned at her, then I looked at the trees again. I was trying to find where the tracks were leading, which was quite difficult. Finally, after a few minutes of staring at the branches, I found the end of the track. It ended on the tree right next to the entrance to the corridor where staff of the stables and fields were.

"Have you watched Takeda?" I asked quietly.

"Yes, just like you've said. And he's been acting pretty normal," she shrugged. "Well, except for the part when he jerked off and called the name of Kuga Natsuki…"

"Ugh," I muttered, trying to banish the image from my head as soon as it started to form. "How more disgusting can he get?"

"Don't know, but we should find out. You know, if he is the traitor, he will be far more disgusting to you than he is now."

"Guess you're right," I frowned, turning my gaze to Nao. "Keep your eyes on him. I don't want anyone to get hurt, understood? I want to return here and find this place exactly as it is now, with everyone safe and sound."

"Geez, pup, you're horrible when you care about someone," Nao remarked, smirking slightly, bringing her right hand to lick her point-finger as she always did.

"Nao, I mean it!"

"Okay, okay, just calm down. I'll do everything I can to keep your love-nest in its top shape…"

"Kuga?"

We both turned around to see Fujino-sama in a sky-blue kimono, standing on the terrace with that calm, beautiful expression on her face. Both me and Nao were speechless. For how long she had been standing there? What did she hear? Did she know everything now?

"Yes, my lady?" I asked when I finally got over the shock. I noticed that Nao nodded her head instead of a formal bow, but Fujino-sama didn't seem to mind.

"We're leaving soon. Come," she said quietly, looking into my eyes as if the red-haired girl wasn't even there. My body moved on its own accord and before I knew it, I was walking into the house right next to her.

We were on the staircase in front of the house with two hydras to our sides when she stopped and looked me in the eyes again.

"Ara, I didn't know you and Nao were friends," she said quietly, sweetly, calmly, her honey-like voice covered my mind in a sticky blankness that prevented me from thinking at all.

"We've met in the house of Kuga family. It's a long story," I muttered after a while.

"Ara, you'll have enough time to tell me about it in the carriage, won't you, Kuga?"

"I guess I don't really have a choice," I muttered so she wouldn't hear me, making my way to the black, wooden carriage to make sure everything was at place one last time.


	17. Chapter 17

**Hey you, guys!**

**Thanks for all the reviews! It's really nice to know that you like the story! **

**I'm sorry, but this will be a short chapter that might seem a bit pointless, but it isn't. I was just feeling like writing something like this so… yeah, sorry. **

**Well, please, enjoy!**

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The moon was shining through the small window in the carriage, illuminating the small, but comfortable space with a faint, silver glow. It fell on her face just perfectly, bringing out the softness of her features and the paleness of her silk-like skin. She looked like a goddess, with her sandy hair falling into her face and the violet clothing she wore now hanging from her body as if it was way too big for her. She looked beautiful, more peaceful than ever. She was the most gorgeous person I've ever met, inside and out.

I turned my head away from her, to look out. It was a calm night, a soft breeze was blowing every now and then, taking some of the loose snow with it, up into the air. It was making beautiful scenes, the snow was glowing in the moonlight as it flew all around. I could hear the horses contently snorting here and there. It was a peaceful, beautiful night and although it was a bit cold, I was thankful for the weather. It would have been much worse to travel in a blizzard.

When I heard the horses snort more frequently and less contently, I quickly slipped out, closing the door to the carriage behind me to not let the cold, night air in. We were camping far away from some town or village, near the Forest of Summer Roses. I could see the peak of the mountain Seijin, white with snow just like everything else around me. The moon, big and shiny in the middle of the sky covered by small, silvery-blue dots that were actually stars, illuminated the snow around, making it easier to see.

I went straight for the small shelter I had made earlier, so the horses would have a place to rest. There they were, one pure black, the other one chestnut-brown, standing in the snow close to each other to keep warmth. They had hay there, but it wasn't enough to keep them warm and I was sorry for those poor animals. That was one of the reasons I've never wanted to travel with a horse, I knew I wouldn't be able to keep it warm during the winter and to give it everything it needs.

The animals were both looking somewhere in between the trees that grew a good few feet away from our small camp. They were shaking their heads occasionally, snorting every once in a while, raking their hoofs into the snow. They were, both, clearly restless about something. I grabbed the handle of my sword, but I knew it probably wouldn't be necessary. It could easily be just a fox or a lonely wolf, those were quite common around here. Whatever it was, it was just an animal, and it was something two horses could take care of, if needed.

I walked up to them, patting them both on their foreheads. I heard them take deep breaths, as if they were snuffling me. But then, they both took a tiny step closer to me.

"Easy there, guys," I whispered to them, caressing their soft fur with both of my hands. "It's nothing you can't deal with. And it's only a few hours 'till we get going again. Just rest, both of you."

I stayed there with them for a while longer. It was easy to just pet them and talk to them. I knew I wouldn't be sleeping even if I had stayed in the chariot with Fujino-sama and there, with her, it would be more dangerous to me. She was more dangerous to me than anything in this world. I had no problem fighting or surviving on my own, but she… she was the one thing that could kill me with as much as one word.

I've never wanted to fall in love, because I knew what it had done to my father. He had been a great leader, a true Lord Kuga. Some said he had been heartless and cruel. Well, until he had met my mother, of course. They say she had changed him, that he had changed because he fell in love with her. He had never want to kill anyone from that time on, he hadn't been so cruel and he had shown everyone how much he loved her, it had never mattered to him where he was or who he was with. When it came to her, he had always been caring and a good husband.

Many saw that as a weakness. And I did too. For me, it was weakness that a warrior didn't kill his enemies. Though I didn't like killing and I didn't do it if I could help it, sometimes it was necessary to kill your opponents to show the others you are not that easy to get down. Sometimes, it was good to kill. Sometimes it was the right thing to do. At least, that was my way of justifying the kills I have done in my life so far. It had been necessary to end someone's life to keep others safe.

But wasn't that another form of love? To be able to kill someone who was as much of a human being I was; wasn't that just another way of expressing the affection? Maybe keeping others safe was the way to show the love for them. After all, I've only killed because the ones I love, because Nina and, later, Fujino-sama.

No. Love was a weakness. Love was what had made me kill, it was the only thing that had made me commit a sin. It was the only thing I should have never felt, the only thing I was supposed to guard myself from. It was the only emotion I was supposed to hate. But when I thought of her, of Fujino-sama, when I thought of her beautiful, sincere smile; calm face with soft features; silk-like, pale skin and sand-colored hair that felt around her face just beautifully, I wasn't able to make myself hate the feelings she made me feel, I wasn't able to hate _her_. Even though I was supposed to. Even though I should have hated her from the first time our eyes met. My life would have been so much easier. The winter was too cold and there was too much snow in all of the Namae. I would be dead already, if it wasn't for her, and it would have been so much easier.

I don't know how much time had passed 'till my hands started to feel cold and my feet felt like they were in a buckle of icy-cold water. I petted both of the horses one more time before heading back to the carriage. The snow glowed with the silver light of the moon, almost sparkling, as if it was happy to be in this world for a little while, before the spring comes to take it away. It reminded me of the north and of my old home. We had snow there for about half a year and the other half it was raining almost all the time. The north was a cold, unwelcoming place and the people that lived there had to be twice as cold and strong, to keep up with the whims of the weather. I was used to cold air and snow. I was used to spending my nights in the forest, without a campfire or a shelter to keep me warm and dry. It didn't bother me.

But the presence of Fujino-sama did. She was like a hot summer to the cold winter inside of me. She was the warmth of the sun when the spring comes and I was the snow that would melt under the rays of the sun. She was the death of mine. But maybe, just maybe, she could turn the coldness of my snow into a warm, summer rain. Maybe she could make me change, just like my mother did with my father. Maybe-…

No! I couldn't… I couldn't think of her that way. I'll have to survive this trip, and then, when the spring comes, Kuga will be gone. I will keep searching for my sister and if I won't find her, I'll let Mother Earth deal with me as she deems necessary. That's the only thing I can do. I'll have to keep Natsuki chained down, just like I kept her chained in myself for three years. It will be difficult with Fujino-sama around, but I'll have to do it.

For some reason, when I was with her, I wanted to be myself. I wanted to forget Kuga and be just Natsuki. I didn't want to be a fighter or a honorable lady, no. I wanted to be the girl I was when I was younger. Not the ruler, not the lady, just a plain Natsuki. Though I knew I was just as sarcastic and nasty as Nao could be, but it was something I thought she could change in me. She already had changed me enough.

I opened the door of the carriage and quickly slipped inside, to not let the cold air in. I slowly settled down on the floor, though she had told me to sleep on the seat with her. I knew I wouldn't be able to fall asleep. The moon was still illuminating the space with its silvery glow, falling just perfectly on her beautiful face; thin lips; perfect contour of her nose…

…and fully opened, wine-colored eyes.

The ability to breath left me when I looked right into her eyes. I grabbed the handles of my swords, just to do something with my hands, and gulped involuntarily. She was looking right back at me and her stare was so piercing it could make a hole into my head.

"Where were you?" she asked in that honey-like voice of hers. And then I realized I had done a big mistake. She knew she had a traitor in her house. And now, in the middle of the night, I had just gone out for a walk. If I were her, I would think that the traitor was the person who does just that and there was no doubts that she thought I was the one who helped Kanzaki.

"I-.." I tried to speak, but I knew whatever I say would sound wrong. And what could I say? That I just went for a little walk, because I heard horses snort outside? She wouldn't believe that, even though it was the truth. I know I wouldn't believe that if someone had said it to me when there was supposed to be a traitor somewhere. "I couldn't sleep so I went out, to not wake you."

"Ara…" she muttered, looking straight into my eyes. "Is that so? Well then, why doesn't Kuga come here and lies down here? I'm sure this will be much more comfortable for him than the floor."

I frowned when she straightened a little in her seat and pointed to her thighs. She was giving me an intense, sincere stare and I couldn't help but do exactly what she said. I unbuckled the belt and let it fall to the ground before crawling up on the seat and laying my head in her lap. Her fingers instantly went into my hair, playing with it and massaging my scalp gently, her other hand went to my stomach where I had my hands fondled on the tunic. She took one of my hands in hers, her warmth seeped into me and I couldn't help but savor it like a cat would savor the rays of the sun.

"Is this better?" she asked, gently pulling at my hair as she played with it.

"Much," I said without thinking.

"Ara, that's good. Sleep now, my guardian. We have a long way ahead of us, you'll need the energy tomorrow."

It didn't take long for me to fall asleep after that.


	18. Chapter 18

**Hey there, guys!**

**So, the next chapter… I don't know what to think about it, really, so… yeah, I'll leave the thinking and talking about it to you! So, tell be what you think!**

**Enjoy! **

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The next morning came sooner than I wanted it to. Fujino-sama's lap was more than comfortable, I could sleep on it for days and I would never have enough. But, unfortunately, that was something I couldn't do, so as soon as the first rays of sun fell on the snow, I got up and left the carriage. Before I closed the door behind me, I sent her one more glance. She was truly the most beautiful thing ever, sleeping peacefully, with a small smile on her face.

Shaking my head, I quickly closed the door and went to the horses. They were both fully awake, snorting here and there, pressing close to one another. The brown one was slightly shorter and I could tell she was calmer than the stallion with black fur. I gave them both enough oats and hay for breakfast, then I got the carriage ready for the trip. I didn't know how long it took me to get everything ready, but by the time I was done, my stomach was growling like crazy. When I had been traveling, I could go a day, sometimes two, without a meal, but at Fujino-sama's manor I had gotten used to a good meal three times a day. That won't be easy to get through once I leave.

I heard the door of the carriage open, but I didn't turn around, until a delicious smell of meat hit my nose. When I finally did turn away from the yoke, I saw Fujino-sama in her blue, loose kimono with a tray of food right in front of me.

"I thought Kuga might be hungry, since he didn't eat last night," she smiled at me, bringing the tray closer to me.

"I-… th-thank you, my lady, but… it's cold out here, why don't you go back inside?" I asked, trying to take the tray from her, but she didn't let me. Instead, she frowned.

"It makes me happy that you care so much, but I'm not a little girl anymore," she said, still frowning. "I won't catch a cold, I know better than to run around only in a thin kimono in weather like this! And if I do become sick, well I wouldn't mind, because you'd be there to take care of me!"

"But-…"

"No 'but's!" she cut me off. "You are always trying to take care of me, and though I really appreciate it and I do enjoy knowing it, it's getting on my nerves sometimes. So if you want to leave early, I suggest you eat now, because I won't leave you alone until you eat everything there is on this tray."

I couldn't find my voice after that. I just reached out and took one piece of bread and one piece of the meat. And before I knew it, I found myself eating as if I hadn't been eating for days, though I was still wondering, how could she not let me take care of her, when up until now she was always the one taking care of me. The only thing I have done was the killing, which was, partly, a good thing; I didn't want her to have blood on her hands.

When everything was eaten, she smiled a small, almost shy smile and nodded her head once in satisfaction. She returned to the carriage, leaving me to yoke the horses and get everything ready.

After it was all done, I sat up on the bench on the front of the carriage, taking the bridle in between my fingers. Before I could give the horses the sign to start moving, I felt the carriage shaking slightly and soon, Fujino-sama sat down next to me. I felt her gaze on my face, my cheeks instantly turned red and warm. I shook my head to clear my mind a bit, but the only thing it did was that some strands of my hair got free from the ponytail on the back of my head and fell to the side of my face.

I felt her gentle fingers brush the hair back. "Ara, wait," she said quietly, her voice was almost a whisper. She reached to her own hair and pulled out a thin, long, black clasp. She pinned the loose strands of my hair down with it, so it wasn't all around my face. "There, all perfect."

I looked at her, my eyes instantly found hers and the familiar feeling of my lungs forgetting to take in the air flowed through my chest. A somewhat weird, tingling sensation bloomed in my abdomen and I could tell it wasn't arousal. It was something else, something soft and warm, something that was always there, I just hadn't realized it, until now.

"Thank you," I said quietly, but I couldn't bring myself to say something more, I was afraid my voice would shake or brake. Her hand, the one that had pinned my hair down to my head, now slowly caressed its way to my still burning cheek. It was as if the warmth and weight of her touch made me lean closer to her. Suddenly, I started breathing faster than normal, the breaths were shallow and short, just as hers were on the skin of my lips.

Both of the horses snorted discontentedly, making both of us snap out of the daze we were in. The black stallion shook his head impatiently, while the brown mare snorted again, displaying its displeasure.

"My lady, you should probably return to the carriage, it's warmer there," I said quickly, turning my head to the horses, gripping the bridle in my hands tighter. I made sure to emphasize the address on the beginning of my sentence. It was supposed to be something like my protection, an explanation of why we shouldn't be doing what we were about to do. She was a member of a noble family, I was not, no longer. I couldn't let her fall into this, into the world of half-truths and fights for survival. I couldn't hurt her.

"I'm quite comfortable right here," she said stubbornly, yet sweetly. I couldn't argue with that tone of her honey-like voice, so I kept quiet, spurring the horses to move.

I knew the roads to Takara like the back of my hand. Every caravan I've ever traveled with went either into the imperial city or started its journey there, so I knew every road there was to know. Though, traveling with a caravan where everyone minded their own business and where I could go alone in the back, with no-one to disturb me was a lot different from traveling with Fujino-sama, who liked to ask many questions and always gave out remarks that made me blush.

But I have to admit, I silently loved her teasing. It was a sign that she was interested in me somehow, that she was giving me a lot of her attention. And she didn't tease me too often, so it didn't get on my nerves, although I knew that if it was someone else teasing me, they would be probably hurt by now. But, of course, this was Fujino-sama, I would never hurt her. She was the only person I knew I would die for if that would be necessary.

I didn't know exactly when the sun had risen up on the sky or when it started to set down. I realized that it was slowly getting dark after I felt Fujino-sama's head land on my shoulder. She was sleeping, her breaths were even, coming out in shallow, steady rhythm, her hands clenched to my arm as if I was her pillow. I smiled at her and slowly, as not to wake her, took the blanket from under me to cover her with it, so she wouldn't be cold. She was too precious to me to let her catch a cold.

The horses slowly stopped, turning their heads in every direction, snorting in discontent. Their ears were straight up, I could hear them taking deep breaths to identify the scent in the air. A shiver ran down my spine and the hair on the back of my neck stood up. I instantly grabbed the handles of my swords, looking around for even the smallest sign of danger.

Fujino-sama stirred, moaning so quietly I couldn't identify her words. I looked at her, the calm, contented expression on her face made me grip the handles of my swords tighter. I had to protect her, it was my duty, my responsibility. She leaned against the wall of the carriage, which gave me space to lean forwards. We were still a day away from Takara and a few hours away from some village, there was nothing around us but trees, forests and meadows. It wasn't difficult for robbers and bandits to hide in between the trees and wait for a suitable victim. Though I still tried to calm myself with the possibility of the danger being just some animal, I knew better.

I noticed some movement on my right side, in between the trees. Right after that Fujino-sama jerked and gave out some unidentified, hurt sound and then I felt sharp, stabbing pain in my right side. I looked down. There was an arrow in my tunic, but I knew it had hit me by the pain that slowly spreaded through my whole body. I pulled the arrow out of my clothes and jumped down from the carriage, pulling both of my swords out, gripping them tightly.

The horses stood up on their hind legs, neighing in high-pitched voices, making my head spin. I saw another movement, but this time I managed to avoid the shot. The next arrow hit Fujino-sama's arm, just scratching it. It wasn't a deep wound, but I knew it hurt.

Then everything stopped. No more arrows came out, no movements could be seen. The horses calmed down just a little bit, still snorting and shaking their heads in every direction. But the hair on my neck still stood straight up, I knew there was more to it.

Men in black, leather armor ran out of the forest, few of them were holding bows with arrows ready in the bowstrings, the rest had swords in their hands. I didn't know how many there were. My head started to feel dizzy and my legs almost gave. I lifted one of my sword when the first blow came, using the next one to slash my opponent, but I felt two swords cut my unguarded left side and back.

I shook my head to clear it, noting the black, messy hair and something dark-green in the middle of tanned brown.

"Takeda," I growled out. I attacked him, furiously, not caring about the other soldiers all around me. I didn't feel the pain of the cuts, I didn't feel the impacts of their swords and hands on my body. I was completely concentrated on the traitor. Akira was right, Takeda really was the bad guy. I should have known from the start.

When I heard a cry of pain and felt my sword boring into something, I knew I had hit right where I wanted. Though I couldn't see anything apart from the colorful smears and blots, I knew I had hit him. The sword buried in him up to the hilt, according to how easy it went in, without any bone in the way, I assumed I had hit his stomach, and hot blood covered my hand.

I felt him slip down from the sword, I knew he was dead. But then I felt someone grab both of my hands and cutting them. The pain was too much to handle, I let go of my swords and screamed. Someone kicked me down, on my knees. I landed down, hard, the cold of the snow was burning me through the woolen tunic. Someone grabbed both of my arms, so I was limply hanging there, between the soldiers in the black uniforms. Suddenly the pain of every single one of my wounds came crashing to me, making my vision a bit clearer.

One of the men in black armor stepped closer to me. He was tall, muscular and he looked like a very important man.

"So, we meet again, Kuga," he smirked and I knew right away who he was.

"Unfortunately so, Kanzaki," I growled out, though I didn't know how I managed to do it.

"It doesn't surprise me, really. After everything you have done for my future wife, I wanted to see you and _thank _you properly. And you have given me the perfect opportunity, by believing the letter. If you don't know yet, the letter was from me. No attack is planned, there's no need to worry," he smiled sweetly. He lowered himself down, his hand came up to grip my chin and turn my head upwards, so I could look into his face. "Well, you do need to worry, because your time in this world will end soon. Not quite yet, I want to enjoy a few things first, but you won't suffer too long, I promise."

"You filthy bastard," I screamed at him, spitting every bit of saliva I could find in my dry mouth on him. He, however, just smirked and whipped it off of his face with a calm, almost amused expression.

"You always were the one to fight to your last breath, weren't you?" he asked with a smile on his face. "Well, I can assure you your fighting days are over, Kuga. Or should I say Kuga Natsuki? Either way, it doesn't matter. You'll die soon, so there's no need to worry about your real name or gender, is there? Well, sweet dreams, Natsuki!"

With that something thick, probably a handle of a sword, hit the back of my head and I fell limply forwards, letting the men who were holding me down to support my body weight as my mind fell into the darkness.


	19. Chapter 19

**Hey, gyus!**

**Thanks for the reviews! Though, in my opinion, Natsuki is not at all 'incompetent', don't forget she always had to deal with a bigger amount of properly trained Shizuru is tending her wounds because I wanted to show Natsuki's character through this. It's fascinating, at least to me, how she is a badass when it comes to fight, but how shy she is when she is around Shizuru. That is actually the whole point of her wounds – to show off her character. Because I can't just write the list of her characteristic features. **

**Well, anyway, here's another chapter! The Big Revelation! It's what you've all been waiting for and now it's here! So, let me know what you think and enjoy! **

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I woke up to the feeling of something cold and wet hitting my face. I took a deep breath; my lungs burned with pain as if I hadn't been breathing for days. I started to couch, to get used to the feeling of breathing and feeling again. My whole body was burning with pain, every scratch and cut on my skin was killing me. I tried to move my hands, but they were tied up right above my head. I was hanging limply from a wall, chained up to it so I couldn't escape. I tried to trash about, though the only thing it did was that it made the pain in my body grow stronger.

"You're finally awake. I was starting to worry about you," a smooth, man's voice said; I could hear a trace of amusement in it. With that voice everything came crashing to me – the fake letter, the trip, the kidnap. I quickly looked around the room, ignoring Kanzaki, for now. It was a small room, the walls were white and the floor was nothing but hard-packed clay. On the wall opposite me, there was the top of my tunic and both of my swords. In the middle of the room was a chair and on it sat Fujino-sama, with her hands tied up behind her back and a piece of fabric in her mouth, so she wasn't able to speak. She was looking at me with sorrow and hope in those wine-colored eyes, as if she was begging me to do something about the situation.

I trashed about again, trying to ignore the pain. Then came a stab and a wave of pain into my left arm.

"There, there, calm down. You don't want to hurt yourself even more, do you?" Kanzaki asked, his voice was like velvet, smooth and calm. But I could hear the trace of amusement and satisfaction, he was proud of himself for having me tied up like this.

I let myself fall limply into the position I've been when I woke up. I noted what parts of my clothes were taken away from me, I was left only in my underpants and the fabrics around my chest. I growled quietly. He knew about my true identity and if the little I knew about him was anything to go by, he would tell Fujino-sama. I only had two possibilities. First – try and stop him; and the second – tell her sooner than will. But I didn't know how to do any of those.

"Weird," Kanzaki remarked, taking the small knife away from my skin. "I was expecting you to ask questions, but you are quiet. I wonder why..."

"I know almost everything I need to know. The only thing I want to ask you is how you know about me," I growled at him, looking him right into the black eyes. He smirked and I found myself knowing the answer before he had the time to open his mouth. "No, don't tell me. I will guess, it was Takeda, wasn't it? For someone so stupid he really can be smart when it's most unwanted."

"He loved you, of course he would notice. He knew how you walk, how you move. He recognized it when he saw you," Kanzaki smirked. "Oh, how he begged me to let you live so he could have you. I wanted to, I really wanted to give you to him, it would be the least I could do for everything he had done for me. Unfortunately, you killed him. You really are something, you know? You had enough of steam in that small body of yours to kill him even after getting hit by the sleeping arrow. Makes me wonder how much stamina you have in… other activities."

"I said it once and I'll say it again: fuck you, Kanzaki!" I growled at him, spitting every bit of saliva I could find in my mouth right on his face.

He smirked and swept it off with his left hand. He then brought the blade of the knife right under my chin; I could feel how sharp it was. "I think you're going to think your next action through very carefully, won't you? Well, I would rather fuck you, but first, why don't we explain everything to Shizuru? She deserves to know she had a liar under her roof."

I growled from deep of my throat. This was the only chance I had to tell her everything. And yet, I couldn't find the courage to open my mouth and say those words. I wanted to, I really did, but something inside of me stopped me. For some reason, the only thing I could do was lower my head and look at the ground.

The blade of the knife left my skin and the sound of steps filled the room. I lifted my head up, fixing my gaze on the black-clad man, who was now making his way to Fujino-sama. He touched the skin of her neck with the blade, which made me want to rip him into pieces, but I knew that if I moved, I would only make him hurt me more and I needed every last bit of my energy if I ever wanted to get us both out before Kanzaki kills me.

"You see, my dear Shizuru, this 'man' here had been lying to you the whole time," Kanzaki started, lowering his face close to Fujino-sama's. I noticed the stress he put on the word 'man'. "Look at him and look at him closely, because this is the last time you see him."

With that, he slowly walked back to me, grinning like a madman. He laid the knife on the skin of the small hollow where my collarbones met, the contact of the sharp side of the blade with my skin made me hold my breath. He was going to do two things: expose my true identity to Fujino-sama and kill me. The problem was that I didn't know in which order he's going to do it.

I looked at Fujino-sama. Her eyes were wide and she was leaning forwards, as if she wanted to stand up and get to me. She looked as if she was panicking, almost as if she was afraid of what Kanzaki will do to me. I wasn't sure about that myself, but I wasn't afraid. Sure, I wanted to get free, to get Fujino-sama out of here, but I didn't care about my own body or my life. I would give my life up in a blink of an eye if it would mean that she will live her happy life.

"You see, my love, this man isn't man at all, am I right, Kuga?" Kanzaki smirked, saying my name as if it was the worst swear ever. The blade moved down on my skin, I felt it caressing me almost gently. But the burning pain followed right after it and I knew he was, slowly and painfully, cutting my skin on his journey. The knife came to the bandages and it slowly started to make its way through them, cutting them, losing them. I felt small drop of blood that ran down my skin, right next to the knife, its gentle touch was contrasting wildly with the pain Kanzaki made me feel. "Don't you want to say it for yourself, before I cut through the veil of lies you had put around yourself?"

I only growled, looking at him for just a small second, then I returned my gaze back to Fujino-sama. She was staring at the knife, or at my pale skin, I couldn't tell which one it was. There was fear in her eyes, but also something else, something like expectation. It looked almost as if she wanted to know the truth without being scared at all.

"Well, if you don't want to, I'll do it for you, than," he said, shrugging slightly. The knife stopped for a second and then, with a quick yank, the fabrics around my chest and my underpants fell down from my body. I was left there naked, chained up against the wall, as if I was some sex-slave ready to be raped. I lowered my head in shame, I was afraid to look into her eyes.

"You're so impolite. Aren't you even doing to look at the person you're going to die for, Natsuki?" Kanzaki remarked, his hand roughly touched my chin and made me lift up my head, to look at Fujino-sama. I expected to see a shocked and disgusted look on her face. However, she was nothing like that. She was staring at me in awe and admiration, as if she was trying to take every detail of my body in, to memorize it. It was almost as if she had known the whole time.

Kanzaki obviously wasn't expecting this kind of reaction, since he quickly let go of my chin and walked behind Fujino-sama with almost confused look on his face.

"Is that all you've got?" I asked, my voice was somewhat low and husky, dangerous. This was my chance to undermine that high self-confidence of his and to make it look like I've been planning this. Though it won't hurt him physically, it will do its work with his ego. "So what if I'm a woman? Does it change anything?"

He looked at me for a while, almost as if I had the answer to my question written on my forehead and he was struggling to read it.

"No, it doesn't change a thing," he said finally. His voice was calm and confident, it sent shivers of fear down my spine. He came up with something that will leave a scar on me. "I just wonder how you could survive the attack… I know my men killed everyone they found, apart from one little girl."

"Your men?" I repeated. My eyes widened in shock, my breathing quickened. Suddenly everything clicked. The men in the black, leather armor were Atarians, and Kanzaki was an Atarian too. It was him who killed my family. "You filthy bastard! It was all you! You have killed my family!"

"Yes, well, someone had to do it. You were too powerful," he smirked. I went silent, trying to control my reactions.

"We were in your way, right?" I asked quietly after a while. "There were two powerful families in Namae that could easily beat the shit out of you, you fucking Atarian. Let me guess, you were sent here to snatch the throne of Namae, so you could join it with Atari. But there were two families that could stop you in a blink of an eye! There was only one solution: get rid of one and join with the other. And let me guess, you sent Takeda to my father's house to try his luck while you were trying yours with the heir of Fujino family, to decide which family will have to die. When you found out that I would never become a wife to a man like Takeda or you, you decided to destroy us. You attacked us in the dead of the night, like the scum you are, because you knew you would never win in the open battle. But then came complications to your little plan, when Fujino-sama said she won't marry you. You needed to do something about it, but you knew you needed her support to take over the throne, you couldn't just kill her. And just when your patience wore off, I have risen from dead and got into your way, again. Am I right?"

"You surprised me, you're very smart. And you don't look too bad, I might keep you as a stress-reliever," he said with a smirk. "But enough of that for today. You'll stay here 'till I decide what I'm gonna do with you. And until then, Shizuru is coming with me. We have to plane out our wedding."

He roughly got Fujino-sama to her feet and almost dragged her out of the room. The door closed behind them and I stayed in that dark, small room all alone.


End file.
